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NTU discretionary admissions essay --" How my doctor influenced me."



Naitosukai 1 / -  
Mar 15, 2011   #1
Hi everyone. I wrote this essay for my discretionary admission into NTU. Could anyone comment on it and give me some pointers?

b. Describe a person who has had an influence on you, and share with us why and/or how the person has influenced you. ( 300 words )

Chronic Diseases Since Childhood



Struck with chronic rhinitis and atrophic dermaitis since young, I have had frequent visits to my personal doctor to alliviate its symptoms. As a child, I vividly remember how the drugs prescribed would readily stop my persistent itches; how it would miraculously make me breathe better. This would be the seed that was planted for my fervent passion towards medicinal chemistry later on.

I would be around nine when I started bombarding him about questions to the drugs I took: What their effects were; what they do in the body; how they were produced. Noting my intense curiosity towards such xenobiotics, he would go on giving snippets of informations on some of them, such as the different classifications on antibiotics. While such information was not easily understood when i was nine, it drove me to go beyond the school curriculum to learn more about drug classifications as well as their mechanisms, allowing me to tie in what I have learnt in school, such as organic chemistry, ionic eqilibrium and biological cascades, gaining insights to the practical applications of such knowledge learnt.

I will never forget his "lesson" on antibiotic resistance of bacteria when I was fourteen, and that lesson has driven me to research more about MRSA and how antibiotic abuse has led to the occurrence of superbugs. It was then, that I developed my dream: of contributing to the pharmaceutical sector to develop and discover more classes of antibiotics. Antibiotic resistance will increase and proliferate over time, and what I can believe I can contribute, is to develop new ways to counter it.

I sincerely hope I can be allowed to enter NTU's Chemistry and Biological Chemistry. so that I can fulfill my lofty dreams and passion, and to make a contribution to the world.

Guest /  
Mar 15, 2011   #2
How about including a sentence or two about the people from the developing or third world countries are suffering. That inspire you to do something to help for a better future.

That my 2 cents suggestion.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Mar 19, 2011   #3
...to alleviate its symptoms.

You cannot say, "As a child... I remember..."
As a child, I vividly remember how the drugs prescribed would ...

I was around age nine when I started bombarding him with questions about the drugs I took: What their effects were; what they do in the body; how they were produced.

Noting my intense curiosity towards such xenobiotics, he would go on giving snippets of information on some of them, such as the different classifications on of antibiotics.

occurrence

I sincerely hope I can be allowed to enter NTU's Chemistry and Biological Chemistry programs so that I can fulfill my lofty dreams and passion and make a contribution to the world.

:-)+


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