Nursing Admissions Essay-How will becoming a nurse help you to make a difference in lives?

I just started this and have yet to do any editing or grammar checks. Thanks for the help! It's due really soon. I am not done btw.

How will becoming a nurse help you to make a difference in others' lives?
As a nurse I would have an opportunity to have a direct impact on my patients-not only supporting their physical body with my knowledge, but more importantly their mental an emotional health. Nursing is based off interactions between the nurse and patient When I become a nurse my chief priority would be facilitating an interaction that is both practical and considerate for the patient. I would be able to not only have a direct relationship and impact with my patient, but I would know that my actions would have an ripple effect. Not only will I be helping a patient become healthy and begin recovery, but I would help that patient spend time with their family, and rejoin their community. I would have the knowledge to educate and inform my patients and their families on methods to improve their health and overall life.

I would be able to speak to families who are in need of comfort, or bring the news of a healthy baby boy to a new father. Experiences such as these are what will make me more human, and more susceptible to the acceptance of life and death that are inevitable while working as a nurse. Although working as a nurse will have its good days and bad day, the opportunity to work with a medical team in treating patients will be inspiring to partake in.

Hi...

Well, as you say about this


, I will try it, but I want you to know that I am not too good at it.


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Nursing is based offon interactions between the nurse and patient (a period) When I become a nurse (a comma) my chief priority would be facilitating an interaction that is both practical and considerate for the patientS .


I would be able to not only have a direct relationship and impact with my patient, but alsoI would know that my actions would have an ripple effect.


Not only will I be helping a patientpatients become healthy and begin recovery, but also I would help that patientS spend time with their family, and rejoin their community.

I think I could simply share what I have seen from above. And the rest of them, expecting for other readers is good idea :)

Thanks

As a nurse, I would have an opportunity to support my patients not only with their physical recovery, but also in their mental and emotional needs.


I don't understand why you included this line. What's the purpose? I cannot find a direct link between this and the next one :(


Well, I find there's some repetition of ideas in your response. It's pretty much the same ideas you say again and again. Better arrange your flow. You can also tell them that your nursing experience may help you brighten the lives of your loved ones too.

I redid my essay to be more personal. It's not edited at all so there will be mistakes. Thanks for the help!

Nursing Application Essay
How will becoming a nurse help you to make a difference in others' lives?
Growing up a biracial child of Latina and African American descent, I have always been immersed in cultures of warmth and community. My mother has always been a social butterfly and made friends no matter where she went, while my father has a huge family that I enjoyed seeing at family reunions. Having a teacher for a mother has not only provided me an educator's view, but a compassionate view. Teachers and nurses are so similar, in that they're educators, collaborators, confidants, and integral parts of our community. I realized that nurses are similar to the teachers of the health care world. As a nurse I will be able to educate my patients in order that they may have a full recovery and return to their families and loved ones. Education is so vital, and I believe I would be able to not only have a direct relationship and impact with my patient, but I would have a ripple effect on not only my patients but their communities, because they will be able to rejoin them and contribute.

Additionally, my experience in clubs such as Black Collegians, Adelante, and MEDPEP, have provided me the opportunity to grasp the increasing health disparities minorities are facing. I will use both my personal background and medical knowledge to give my patients a safe environment to facilitate not only camaraderie with my patients and their families, but also provide them a safe haven to speak about their mental and emotional state. To have the ability to give patients who often feel as if they don't have a voice in their medical care, a voice would be an amazing gift. I will be able to work with disadvantaged communities that are not able to have adequate medical access.

Lastly as a nurse I will share a moment of my patients lives in which they were at their most vulnerable. All humans have moments of weakness, and my patients can feel as if they are not alone in their fears or insecurities. I will be the one to hold their hand and calm their fears and doubts . As a nurse I will be my patients friend, support, and healer. To be able to partake in such inspiring actions that can bring the most ill patients and their families comfort and happiness is a beautiful part of being a nurse and I can't wait to experience that.