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NYU Supplement - "What Intrigues You?"Intricacies of Language and its transformations



jaxball 4 / 10  
Dec 9, 2012   #1
Feedback is very much appreciated, thanks!!

What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

The intricacies of language and the way it has transformed in the past decades have never failed to intrigue me. Whether it is verbal or written, western or eastern, the magnificence of its manipulability has put me into deliberation not only once. Interschool debating has gifted me experience where I ponder how does one's wording affect the audience's emotions? Extensive study of language and culture in both English and Chinese lessons have prompted me to wonder what triggers the evolution of language and how does it influence the people using it? That's right. Communication among people, ultimately, is my inherent curiosity. My pursuit of understanding how language can alter the way one perceives the speaker's message is demonstrated by my intoxication in negotiation books. In other scenarios, Obama's speech, for instance, the ability to seamlessly blend inspiring emotions with articulate expression amazes me. As we study the language of persuasion, the sensational techniques featured in editorials resonates with my own experience and delivers the message in a much more personal and powerful way than a piece of writing would simply present. At the end of the day, I long to fuse my keen insight and experience in language, a major method of communication, into business, where mutual understanding and corporation are essential factors critical to success.

1377/1500

sarthakjain 19 / 58  
Dec 10, 2012   #2
This essay really intrigues me and it clearly conveys your passion toward communication . But try to be more specific. Also, an advice, remove Obama's name . you should be keeping away from any kind of political names .
mzontario 9 / 43  
Dec 13, 2012   #3
Western and Eastern should be capitalized, I believe.

And I agree with sarthakjain - maybe try to remove Obama's name or add a few more global leaders so it's not just awkwardly standing out?

Overall good essay.


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