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NYU Supplement- What intrigues you? Kenyan People


jessie_hamilton 2 / 3  
Dec 29, 2011   #1
Any feedback and suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

It only took one walk through Nairobi, Kenya, to steal my heart, but five months later I was still in love.
Within one block of each other sit five of the most powerful governing bodies in the world: the UN along with the US, Saudi, Iranian, and Canadian embassies. In the middle of Earth's greatest power and wealth, I stood in muddy streets filled with the poorest of the poor. I could not, and still do not, understand how the two classes could morally coexist.

The city is populated by diplomats, rich Kenyans, UN workers, missionaires, Indian businessmen, British settlers, and refuegges. Amongst the diversity, the poor Kenyan class gets left behind.

I could hire a driver for the day and pay him 1500 shillings, about 18 dollars. I was dumbfounded trying to comphrehend how someone could live off that. Despite the lack of wealth, I was left speechless by the Kenyan's resiliance. How could families who have so little and communites desperate for water be so happy?

Their unconditional joy amazes me. I'm left in disbelief and admiration when I consider my housekeepers who served me wholeheartedly. For having so little, the Kenyan people gave me so much.

On the flipside, how can the upperclasses accept it? When I drove by a child sleeping on the street or walked passed a distressed mother my heart broke. I have yet to grasp how someone could accept the poverty as permanent- and not feel obligated to bring change.

JackSparrow 2 / 8  
Dec 29, 2011   #2
I liked the details and it's an interesting essay. You described the part "what intrigues you" very well, but did you mention why it's significant to you? Maybe touch upon that and your essay is all set. I'll appreciate it if you would check my BU essay out? Thanks!
jebhogiaye 6 / 14  
Dec 29, 2011   #3
I would also watch the spelling "resiliance" -> resilience and "refuegges" -> refugees
I think this is a great essay because it answers the question well and covers something that is truly meaningful
jadore_lamode68 6 / 37  
Dec 31, 2011   #4
You have nice tone and overall a good essay.

I would only work on the ending-it leaves me incomplete.
iMapple94 1 / 3  
Dec 31, 2011   #5
It only took one walk through Nairobi, Kenya, to steal my heart, but five months later I was still in love.
Within one block of each other SAT five of the most powerful governing bodies in the world: the UN along with the US, Saudi, Iranian, and Canadian embassies.

Overall i think this is a fine essay
and gives a good insight to the type of person you are
it is also diverse(a trait that NYU loves)
Not many people can talk about why they love kenyan people
GOOD LUCK!


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