NYU Supplements- all 5, help with strenghts/weaknesses

Need help with strenghts/weaknesses. Any tweakings of my message would be great. I also need general grammatical help.
Prompt- NYC is an essential element of academic and cultural life here at NYU. If you could engage in an activity or start a club, or service organization at NYU, what would it be and how would you envision it impacting the larger community?

As a New Yorker I know the immense diversity of the city and the importance of getting to know people. One club that I would be especially interested in would be the Commuter Club. Since the club specializes in giving students the opportunity to meet and socialize, I would join to meet new people and to help others meet people as well. I would also be interested in the Model United Nations, where I could discuss with others the issues of the day which spreads knowledge throughout the community.

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Prompt- Please tell us how you spent most of your summer vacation.

I spent most of my summer vacation worrying out about college. I visited several schools; namely the University of Pennsylvania and Boston University. The visits were informative, but they didn't ease any of the anxiety that there is throughout the admissions process. During the summer I also went to Mexico to visit my family. The trip was very relaxing as I had plenty of fun with my family; playing board games and reminiscing about things that had happened since we had last gotten together.

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Prompt- Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

I selected the Stern school because of its educational rigor and leadership in the business world. After participating in my school's Youth Leadership Forum for four years, I have decided that I only want to apply to schools that exhibit a direction that will help me enhance my leadership qualities. Given Stern's prestige, I will be exposed to countless opportunities in business and hope to be immersed in research programs like the Salomon Center for the Study of Financial Institutions.

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Prompt- Describe a trait or characteristic passed along to you by your family. Tell us why you like or dislike this aspect.

Although the characteristic of being insistent is usually shown negatively, I am proud to say that I have had this trait passed on to me by my family. My grandma is 95 years old, and she pushes herself to continue living so that she can see her loved ones for even a day longer. My mother is insistent too as she pushes me every day; whether it is to do my homework or to join a club. This trait, often seen as one of "naggers", is vital to my life and a quality I would never hope to get rid of.

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prompt- You have been selected to sing at a talent show. What song would you sing? Why?

My selection would be "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel.
This song would be perfect for me because I don't have a great voice, the song is really fun, and the song is very well known. I would have plenty of fun trying to remember all of the words of the song, but because of my inadequate singing I would have to rely on the audience to pick me up and sing with me, masking the terrible noise that would be coming from the microphone.

The answer to the first prompt is quite strong.

The answer to the second prompt lacks focus. Perhaps you could stick with the idea of worrying about college. How did you resolve this worry? What made you decide to apply to NYU? etc.

The answer to the third prompt is quite strong.

The answer to your fourth prompt is well-written. I'm not entirely sure you should go with "insistence," though. You presumably want the people reviewing your application to view you as self-motivated, rather than as someone who does things at your mother's insistence.

The answer to your fifth prompt is humorous, which is refreshing given that most of these essays tend to be as boring as staring at a blank wall.

Overall, then, you have a solid set of responses. Good job.

Thanks again Sean.

gmail..the 5th response...alot of ppl use it. instead of actually answering the song question, they use creativity...soo just lettin u know lol

i know man.
Im really a rap/hip hop guy so i have to use some generic song so I dont seem like a woman-hater/bling-blingy guy.
Its my weakest one IMO, but it shows a little bit of my humor.

I spent most of my summer vacation worrying about college. I visited several schools; namely the University of Pennsylvania and Boston University. The visits were informative, but they didn't ease any of the anxiety that there is throughout the admissions process. During the summer I also went to Mexico to visit my family. The trip was very relaxing as wehad lots of fun playing board games and reminiscing about things that had happened since we had last gotten together.

I selected the Stern School because of its educational rigor and leadership in the business world.

:)

Kevin

Lmao not all hiphop songs are woman-hating nd bling blingy lol. Um like some songs by 2pac, they prbly tell better stories than normal song, that's if you like the old school stuff.

"Lmao not all hiphop songs are woman-hating nd bling blingy lol. Um like some songs by 2pac, they prbly tell better stories than normal song, that's if you like the old school stuff."

Very few people respect any form of hip-hop so I decided not even to try.

Well i actually used a rap song for my NYU talent show response. Handlebars by Flobots. Its all about how you present it (i think i did a farly swell job at it). If you really are a hip-hop guy, then you would most likely write way better response using a favorite or meaningful hip-hop song. Do not be afraid to show individuality just because you think it wont be accepted. It is NYU after all, the center of diversity and impartiality. You want to show who you really are, not who you think they want you to be.