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My strenghts are: self-motivation, analytical mind and a strong-work ethic - who am I as a person?

dedeebabi101 1 / -  
Apr 5, 2015   #1
Here is the prompt.

"In 500 words, tells us about what makes you, you. What are your strengths, weaknesses, and your motivation? What separates you from any other applicant? How do you think Howard University will increase your strengths and diminish your weaknesses?"

This is what I have so far;

As a 19 year old adolescent, I am still trying to figure out who I am as a person. Through daily experiences and different events that have occurred in my life, my opinion of who I am often changes. I would say that my introverted and optimistic personality is what make me, me. These two traits contribute to my academic efforts, opinions of life and my drive for success.

Having self-motivation, being analytical and having a strong-work ethic are my strengths. My weaknesses are having a lack of confidence, being over-sensitive and shy. Seeing other people's success motivates me, people with power and high status motivate me to work hard and persevere so I can also succeed.

What would separate me from other applicants applying to Howard University is my drive for success, use of time management skills for academic assistance, perseverance with my work ethic and my love for embracing challenges. Striving to succeed is a requirement for me not to fail academically. One way I strive to succeed is by taking advantage of a professor's office hours to better improve myself as a student. I also go to tutoring sessions frequently to improve the methods I used to study and to grasp a better knowledge of a particular subject. Perseverance is a trait that would separate me from another applicant. When it comes to my work ethic, I never give up on achieving my goals even though times may seem rough. I see times of failure as a way to improve myself. My dedication to the success of my college career is what would separate me from other transfer applicants.

Attending Howard University would increase my strengths because I would be surrounded by other students who also want to succeed as much as I do. I like to be around positive people who take their education seriously and at Howard University, it is quite clear that the institution does spectacular at helping its students succeed. I use positive influences towards my self-motivation. My analytical skills and work ethic would be increased because Howard University offers resources such as "CEDAR", which leads students into the proper career path in addition to strengthening the student's skills and thinking ability. Howard University will diminish my confidence and shyness issues because to be well-known by students, alumni, and professors, I must speak up to show that I am dedicated to having the best college experience possible, academically and socially. Attending this institution would diminish my over-sensitivity issues by putting me in situations where I would need to receive constructive criticism to improve my work. I know that Howard University expects students to do phenomenally well, so I would be willing to become less sensitive to be a stronger person academically.

If I attend Howard University, a student who is dedicated to wanting academic success, wants to turn their weaknesses into strengths, and also wants to be in an environment where expressive personalities can run freely to bring out the uniqueness in a student's methods to succeed would be bought out at the institution.

*I went over 500 words. I have 511.

I just want to know if I am following the prompt properly and If i am providing the right information.

Thank you. :)
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Apr 6, 2015   #2
The first two sentences are weakness and strengths because you are trying to figure out who you are but you are strong enough to admit it. Awesome explanation of being introverted! I am introverted and this can be seen as a weakness but you define it as a strength. I feel the same way and it could be what sets you apart from other applicants.

In the second paragraph, I would find a way to combine those sentences and use a transition word. For example, does seeing people with power, high status, and success motivate you to want to work hard and persevere to attain that same success?

Please make this adjustment to the 3rd paragraph:
"I must speak up to show that I am dedicated to having the best college experience possible both academically and socially". I want you to make this adjustment to that sentence because I was starting to get confused reading it.

Overall, you are on the right track to get into Howard University. They want to know that you are not afraid to ask for help and won't give up. However, I would drastically change the last paragraph. I think you are trying to summarize everything and it is a run-on sentence. Try making smaller sentences at the end. This could be a dynamic paragraph if you first express that you want to be a successful academic student, want to turn your weaknesses into strengths, and have a good college experience. The answer to your question is yes you are following the prompt right and providing the right information. I hope I have helped in some way!

*Make sure you use commas and check grammar throughout the paper before submitting.

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