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ohio university written task



guyver 1 / 8  
Dec 30, 2008   #1
Write an essay supporting an issue about which you are particularly passionate. Explain why that issue is important to you or your generation

What could interest a high school senior? His or her future probably. I am not different in this matter. From the beginning of the economic crisis of 2008, I have grown a passion for it. It is to me an important issue that affects not only my morrow but also the one of the whole post-cold war generation.

The economic crisis has begun in 2007 through 2008, when the Wall Street began to collapse. Michael Bloomberg, the Mayor of New York, explained that the main reason for the crisis is the collapse of the housing market. Over the years, banks lent money to people who could not afford it. Because of the easiness of taking a credit or a mortgage, people began to spend more than they actually had.

Banks did not feel threaten by this fact, actually they were delighted. The lenders charged higher interest rates, made additional money on sub-prime loans, and the borrower's house would be seized and sold in case he or she defaults. Thus, giving credits was safe. However, at the beginning of 2007, because of overbuilding and FED over pumping money to the market, the housing price began to downfall, which lead to the collapse of banks, such as the Lehman Brothers, due to their inability to estimate their assets. Normally, the crisis restricts to one country, but as the banks share their pain with other banks (as well national as foreign) to minimize the default risk and the United States have a powerful economy affecting the worldwide economy, the breakdown of the US economy has, like a plague, infected other nations. For instance Vietnam, which has just benefited from its joining to the WTO in 2005 a major economical growth, now has entered dark time of recession due to the crisis.

In my case, the economic crisis has touched badly my parents small business, it has affected negatively their firm's profit. My generation will suffer from lack of work place, as demand for goods and service decreased and the firm will decrease their labor force to reduce cost and survive from bankruptcy. Thus, I would like to contribute in the rebuilding the world economy, so I can help not only myself and my family but also other people. And the key is the study of economy, because an enemy can be fought only by understanding him of her.

zowzow 10 / 174  
Dec 30, 2008   #2
you need a lot more detail on why this crisis is of important matter to you. instead of going into detail about how this crisis occurred, talk a lot more about your situation and from your point of view. an anecdote always helps
OP guyver 1 / 8  
Dec 30, 2008   #3
I would like to, but the words limit is 400. I am actually working on the detail matter, but is hard since there is a word limit. Should I cut the explanation of the roots of the crisis? But I also need to explain why the crisis is important generally. It is kind a troublesome dilemma.
zowzow 10 / 174  
Dec 30, 2008   #4
well i don't think you need to go into much detail about the financial crisis. I mean most people have been impacted by it and they know whats going on. so sending in such general essay which tells nothing about you to your universities i think is a waste of opportunity.

I would (personally) get rid of/condense at least half your descriptions about the crisis and replace it with more descriptions of you.

remember, admissions officers wants to know about you, your selling yourself to them and you don't want to tell them about something they already know like the financial crisis
OP guyver 1 / 8  
Dec 30, 2008   #5
Thanks I will consider that.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 31, 2008   #6
I am no different in this matter.

It is to me an important issue that affects not only my tomorrow but also the whole post-cold war generation.

Banks did not feel threatened by this fact, actually they were delighted.

The lenders charged higher interest rates, made additional money on sub-prime loans, and the borrower's house would be seized and sold in case he or she defaulted .

Thus, giving credit was safe.

However, at the beginning of 2007, because of overbuilding and FED over pumping money to the market, the housing prices began to fall, which lead to the collapse of banks, such as the Lehman Brothers, due to their inability to estimate their assets.

Normally, the crisis is restricted to one country, but as the banks share their pain with other banks (national as well as foreign) to minimize the default risk and the United States have a powerful economy affecting the worldwide economy, the breakdown of the US economy has, like a plague, infected other nations.

And the key is the study of economics , because an enemy can be fought only by understanding him of her.

Good essay:)
OP guyver 1 / 8  
Dec 31, 2008   #7
thanks Kevin for the corrections


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