Prompt:Please write an essay (250 words minimum) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.
Please feel free to comment and help me improve my essay. Also, i need some suggestion for the topic for the essay.
Thanks
Though underrated, I believe that one's life can be the best teacher anyone can hope for as you are but the sum of your life's experiences. OR (Though underrated, I believe that a person's life can be her/his best teacher, as a person is actally a sum of all his/her life experiences.)'Some of my life's most memorable experiences happened early in my father's office, who happens to be a very successful entrepreneur. I used to frequent his office, carefully observing the activities taking place around me. The time that I spent in his office nurtured in me a love for an assortment of trades. The place was always bustling with activitiesy with people from various backgrounds coming in and going out, negotiating transactions and finalizing deals. My education on trade took place right there, in my father's cabin. I learnt beyond what models of theories could ever teach me, I learnt what was needed to practically implement them. I saw the patience, hard work and perseverance required for success. It is this learning that has helped me succeed in my endeavors since then, no matter how big or small. One such opportunity wherein I was able to showcase the skills that I had gained presented itself to me in my commercial applications class.
A structure is only as sound as its foundation.Knowing that this course would help me form a sound base upon which I could later build my skyscraper of knowledge, selecting commercial application as an elective was an easy choice to make. My choice was vindicated even more so as it turned out to be a fun and innovative class. During the middle of the course, the class was divided into two teams with me heading one. The objective of this simulation project was to roll out a particular product line with the school as our market and alimited amount of resource. As both teams were dealing with the same product line, competition was intense. The allocated budget was utilized for many purposes like buying auctioned advertising sites, getting "billboards" made, and distributing flyers throughout school. As the team leader I had to motivate the team members to give their best and help coordinate between the different sub teams to ensure that they were all working towards a common goal. This was our scaled down training of working in a competitive environment. Practice for when we would be heading companies, later on in our lives. Call it better focus, seamless coordination or faultless management, but a chain is no stronger than its weakest link and in the end it was our willingness to work as a team, as a single unified unit which helped us win.
This experience not only gave a boost to my confidence but also imbibed in me qualities which would help me survive in the real world. This little exercise helped me learn as much about my own capabilities and skills as much as it helped me learn about people around me. In the words of John Stuart Mill "There are many truths of which the full meaning cannot be realized until personal experience has brought it home." And I am glad for having experienced this as it has helped mould me into what I am today.
Hello,
This essay has the potential to be great. Your biggest problem is your grammar and style. You have way too many grammatical errors in this essay. Also, some of your word choices also interrupt what would otherwise be a smooth reading. Words such as "skyscraper of knowledge and imbibed," will throw readers off rather than impress them.
Hope this helps
