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'I am an open person' - Stanford- Letter to Roommate

gooseman94 3 / 1  
Dec 26, 2011   #1
Write a letter to your future roommate at Stanford

Well, I guess we will be spending our first year at Stanford together, so I think it would be best if we got to know each other. I am very interested in international affairs and consider myself an international citizen. In addition, I can speak six languages- English, Tamil, Kannada, French, Dutch, and Swedish. I can speak the former three fluently. I also know random trivia that no one would ever care to know because it is so obscure. You're going to have to get used to me rambling on about random trivia that you would have never even thought of. I guess it's just my pastime. I guess it's just my pastime. For example, did you know that the capital of the province of Gelderland in the Netherlands is Arnhem? And that the word smorgasbord comes from Swedish where "smorgĺs" means sandwich and "bord" means table? That's just a sampling.

I am also a huge Pittsburgh Steelers football fan. You should get accustomed to me being stranded at my laptop watching the Steelers game every Sunday during the fall semester and being beyond contact. Although I am from Washington, I support the Pittsburgh Steelers for two reasons. First, the Washington Redskins are an awful team who will never progress anywhere. Second, the first football game I ever watched was a Pittsburgh Steelers game and they left a good first impression on me. If I were you, I'd get accustomed to see a terrible towel hanging from the wall of the dorm as well as a poster of Michael Jackson. I thoroughly music in general from the 1980s be it rap, pop, or rock. Otherwise, I enjoy psychedelic trance, real hip-hop (not that Lil' Wayne nonsense), and other electronic music.

If there is one final thing you should know about me, it is that I am an open person I have no qualms in trying new things. So if you want to show me something new, go right ahead, I encourage it! I always enjoy learning about new things. I think of it as a way to broaden my horizons both intellectually and culturally. I look forward to meeting you and having a great freshman year at Stanford!

I'm trying to cut down on some characters, so please help me out with that.

deremifri 9 / 137  
Dec 26, 2011   #2
I will be direct:
You sound at times too focused on yourself.
You should not use get accustomed to it. It makes you sound like someone who would
not be willing to make compromises in your routine.
Also you should try to list your traits in a manner which at the same time relates to how
this traits will make you a great roommate. For example, you could use your love for all kinds of music
to demonstrate that you will get along with anybody.
Just try to be a little nicer.
Concerning the corrections: I do not think that in academic writing you should use we'll instead of we will, but I' m not sure

Concerning the length: Why the towel? It does not make tell anything about your character, except maybe that you are messy, which is maybe not

a good roommate characteristic.

If you like take a look at my essay
OP gooseman94 3 / 1  
Dec 26, 2011   #3
@raslacrosse thanks for the corrections, they helped a lot.

@dremifri thanks for your honesty. The towel is not just any towel, the "terrible towel" is a symbol of being a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, that's all. We all just hang it up on the wall. But thanks, I really had no idea what to write.
deremifri 9 / 137  
Dec 26, 2011   #4
Ah, get it. But the problem is, will the admission office understand the reference?
Something that goes always: I like to have fun, like intellectual discussions.
RiceAllTheWhey 3 / 16  
Dec 26, 2011   #5
I think your essay would be much better if you focused on how you love the Steelers rather than why love the Steelers. Show more dedication to the team.

I think you misspelled "Ravens" as "Steelers"
(not srs)

(semi srs)

Can you look at my essay too?
cupnoodle123 15 / 52  
Dec 26, 2011   #6
I think it helps the roommate essay for you to relate your hobbies and what they reveal about your character/personality: eg. cheering for football = passionate ->(then transition to saying that you are...) passionate about success for yourself and others

like sorta like that, idk, But I hope this suggestion helps to know how to approach this essay more :)

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