Opportunity to nurture my passion for Engineering and Philosophy; Why Lafayette? Supplement essay

(word count 200)

a proud Leopard!

Hello fellas! Here is my take on the *Why Lafayette?* supplement. Was hoping to get a critique for this first draft. Cheers!

Talks with current students at Lafayette sufficed for me delve into my imagination of being adorned in the maroon Leopard's jersey. I could foreknow myself pacing towards Professor Tobias Rossmans class on Fluid dynamics after enjoying myself in a routine reading session of moral Philosophy at the Skillman library.

Lafayette for me is more than just about rigorous academics and a prestigious college program. Instead, I like to think of it as an opportunity to nurture my passion for Engineering and Philosophy in the renowned Lafayette Liberal arts curricula that will hone me into a well-rounded individual as I play my role as a responsible, contributing member of the community.

The undergraduate research opportunities thoroughly supplement my interests as they provide an unparalleled opportunity for guidance and mentorship. Perhaps I can manifest my theoretical paper, which won a national award, into a working model at the Mechanical Design Laboratory.

At the end of the day, it is these enriching learning experiences set into a closely knit, diverse socioeconomic and ethnic community, the school spirit as evinced by the Lehigh-Lafayette rivalry, and the opportunity of promoting global inclusiveness in a land of traditions that makes me savor the prospects of calling myself a proud Leopard!

Charles, the second paragraph isn't really helpful. The information that it contains feels too generic and doesn't inform the reviewer about anything unique that attracted you to the university. The discussion of your character can be discussed in more appropriate prompt essays so it can be omitted in this instance. I think that what you should be doing instead is expanding on the discussion about how your paper could be turned into a reality in the campus laboratory. The "Why?" in this instance can translate into the method by which the university encourages individuality through discovery and discovery based on mentoring and guidance. Try to see if you can create a more interesting paragraph based upon that premise. The last part of the essay is good enough. It is a bit common to end on this note but it does show an excitement to be a part of the student campus so I would keep that, in a better developed manner, in the essay. The work you did is not bad for a draft. I hope to see increased improvements to your response with the next draft. Good work.