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I opted for Science Stream in 11th Grade, PROMPT 1 FOR UC APPLICATION



grovernikhil 1 / 5  
Nov 27, 2009   #1
I being the only child of my parents was born into a Joint family with my father, grandfather and uncle (father's brother) all living together. I am the youngest member of my family. My father did Bachelor's Degree in Commerce from the state college and further wanted to study for Master's Degree, but family's financial problems did not allow him to achieve his goal. Then he decided to join his Uncle's (mother's brother) Business of Medical Equipment as a trainee. After training for 10 months he joined the same company as a full-time employee. Later, after working there for 7 years, he decided to start-up his own business of Medical Equipment with my uncle (father's brother).Now, after 16 years my father's business is well established in major parts of India. My mother did her B.A and M.A from the state college; she worked for a couple of years as a teacher in a government school before getting married and settling down as a Housewife.

Since my birth, we have moved places twice. The place where I was born, that neighborhood had all middle-class people with a lot of buzz ,made lots of mischievous friends, played all kinds of games, sports especially Cricket which is our "unofficial" National Sport. Here I spent first 9 years of my life. Then we moved where, where people were quite reserved, so all took some time to get adjusted to the conditions there. Firstly, we all felt a bit isolated and then got used to it. And worst part came , my grandmother got paralyzed and remained in critical condition for 2 months in the hospital ,as she was treated by one of the best Neurosurgeon , then for the 1st time started saying that " I want to be a Neurosurgeon" same as an immature child. Considering this tragedy all in the family decided to move out that place as it was unfortunate. Then we moved to different neighborhood, people here were almost same like the last one but here one could have all sorts of luxury available. As a result I got to experience different kinds of people. At the same time my first cousin got admitted to a Business-School. After he completed his 1st Year in College he was selected for a Summer Program with Berkeley College. Then I curiously computer collected information about all the top colleges in various field like Engineering, Business, Arts, Medicine, etc as at that point of time my interests were not constant and it changed from time to time just like it happens with every child.

My school life has been very interesting where with my friends I have done naughtiest things, this being the only reason why teacher scolded me although sometimes for the academics also.

I was always inspired with my father's hard-work, well-disciplined lifestyle with which he has been able to achieve that much in life. I remember the first time my father asked me about what I wanted to do in life and, then I told him about my interest in Science and Technology. After knowing my interests, he said to me "Whatever you do in life, whatever field you choose, one thing you must remember very carefully that success won't come quickly and easily, you must work hard, you must have passion for what you are doing and discipline in order to achieve success and your respective goals in life". So thereafter I opted for Science Stream in 11th Grade; because of my interests in electronics, gizmos and all that stuff and my dream to do something for the field of Science helped me to take that decision. Further I want to do Engineering, most preferably in Electrical or Mechanical.

Hemin12 3 / 9  
Nov 27, 2009   #2
can you post the question too, so that it wuld be easier to figure out which question are you actually addressing?
OP grovernikhil 1 / 5  
Nov 27, 2009   #3
Prompt #1

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. *
nachichi 2 / 2  
Nov 27, 2009   #4
I think you might want to talk a little more about yourself. You spent the majority of the essay on your world and only started talking about your dreams and aspirations in the final paragraphs. I've heard from all of my teachers (most who have been UC readers themselves at some point) that they're actually looking for less about the world itself and more about how your dreams and aspirations have been affected by it.

"I have been to two different schools. From 1st to 4th Grade to a different one and,then from 5th to 12th Grade to my current school. My school life has been very interesting where with my friend I have done naughtiest things, this being the only reason why teacher scolded me."

^ I don't quite understand how this sentence relates to the rest of the essay. Is it another detail about your world? If so, I suggest expanding on it:provide examples of why your school has been interesting, for instance.
OP grovernikhil 1 / 5  
Nov 27, 2009   #5
thanx for reviewing.

i will make the changes.

u please check that later
OP grovernikhil 1 / 5  
Nov 28, 2009   #6
can someone please review my prompt?


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