'From panic to self-drive' - Stanford's sense of intellectual vitality.

Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging. (250-1800 characters)

I started forward, my mouth slightly agape at the scene before me. My eyes widened in horror and I silently screamed, "No, no! It can't end, not like this!" Something had to be done; there was no room for error.

Quickly rewinding the hands of time, I find myself at the beginning of the scene, a time before the now familiar story had shattered into pieces. Meticulously I examine the details. Where had it all gone wrong?

The initial panic ebbs, replaced by obstinacy. I replay the episode, reviewing the tracks, ensuring the perfect synchronization of audio and video. Each transition placed with purpose, each effect intentionally highlighting a certain aspect of the clip. Yet I am not satisfied.

I reach out, gently altering a visual effect here, adding a crossfade there. I replay the scene. Still I am not satisfied.

One may wonder why I spend time creating montages, editing videos that are neither required by my school nor by anyone other than myself. I have taken no class on video editing, driven only by online tutorials and hours of tweaking clips to match the movies of my mind. I enjoy the process of creation as much as publishing the end result, a satisfaction that requires no external incentive.

As my eyes gaze into the darkness of impending death, imminent failure, radical thoughts pace my mind. To scrap even ten seconds of video is to cast away hours of editing. And then, an epiphany. I sigh with gratitude. The computer mouse and my imagination blend into one, and rescue arrives at the scene of the crime. I make the necessary changes. A sense of completion; my duty is done. I call it a wrap and my next project begins.

"Initial panic turns into controlled self-drive." (can someone fix this sentence? i dont like it :/)

Please help me fix this essay, thanks :)

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You write vividly. Your verbs are especially strong. I do have to say, though, that I don't quite get it.

Is "death" in the literal sense? Is your video about death? Or are you referring to the idea that losing what you have shot and edited would be like a death? I think I would go slightly more concrete here. What do you do with the movies? If you share them online, make them just for friends, shoot for profit, or whatever, I think I would add that in. What have you learned from this experience? Let it tell a little bit more about how you are motivated to learn about things that interest you (and how that rolls over into the future with you as a student).

Your verb tense jumps. You start out with the past tense with your first sentence and then move into the present. It would be easy enough to change that first sentence to: "I start forward ..."


Yes, a bit redundant. You could try something like: I reach out, gently altering a visual effect, adding a crossfade there. I replay the scene, wracking my brain for just the right element.


Hmmmmm ... I enjoy the creative process as much as the end result. (This would be a good place to tell more about what you do with the finished products).


Okay, it sounds cliche, but how something like: I call it a wrap and start planning my next project.


The initial panic ebbs, replaced by obstinacy.

Thanks so much for replying, I'll try to incorporate those changes now.

And by the way, my videos are actually related to online games and PvP..which is why i didnt want to talk about it haha. It may sound more appropriate if I let them guess at the subject of my videos.

And would using "I call it a wrap and start planning my next project." work as the final sentence? Or does there need to be something else more powerful to end it?

Thanks for all your advice :) I really appreciate it.

PS: I meant this:

"Or are you referring to the idea that losing what you have shot and edited would be like a death?"

How do i make that more clear?

PPS: I dont want to sound redundant, but at the same time I want something that continues, that flows throughout my essay. [regarding the "Still i am not satisfied"]

Blah, the fact that we can't delete our own posts is going to get to me one of these days. >.<

1.0 - Horrible
10.0 - Very impressive

3.8:
The opening is melodramatic and a poor fit for what is to follow. Your essay seems like an attempt at art in itself; this is not what you are asked to do. Pausing to reflect in a mishmash of cliches does not reduce the incoherence inherent here.

Ouch. Is it really that bad?

What would you change the first few sentences to, and what direction would you go with it?

@Mustafa1991
I understand that you don't like it but I'm not sure how you would say it.

If you remove all the metaphorical stuff, video editing is just...video editing. So I'm not sure how you would approach this topic yourself.

Yes well, kind of decide what skills are needed to edit these videos. Choose just one or two traits. Around those traits you can build hype and an aura of importance, now and then providing a snippet of metaphor about how video editing relates. To end, bring it all together without referring to video editing because hopefully you parlay the particulars into your personal qualities that depend on no activity, but enable you to apply yourself in varied circumstances.

How would you begin this "hype of character traits" or "aura of importance"? What is an example of a first sentence that you had in mind? as that sets the tone and direction of the essay.

Trying to fully understand what you mean. Although I think i may have a vague idea.

Attempt #4- THIS ONE'S FOR YOU MUSTAFA!

Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging. (250-1800 characters)

I create montages, editing videos that are neither required by my school nor by anyone other than myself.

Despite having no classes, no prior experience, and not even practical rationale for studying the art of video editing, I had one day simply decided that I would start experimenting by weaving together tracks and clips. Through hours of reviewing online tutorials and exploring the different transitions that Sony Vegas 7.0 had to offer, I learned the basic steps of editing. I realized that, with no pressuring requirements and the entire collection of free online tutorials at my disposal, the possibilities were indeed endless. My own creativity was at the steering wheel.

One may wonder why I have spent an immeasurable amount of time working with Vegas and its numerous effects and tools, for nothing other than my own satisfaction. After all, how gratifying is the process of gazing into a screen of blank tracks and unfinished projects? But the truth is, I don't see the blank tracks; rather, I see a projected vision of the completed work in front of my eyes. Admittedly, rarely is this vision the same as the final, rendered video. But it's a vision, and that's enough to propel me through the next ten hours of testing and retesting, trying and retrying, alternate endings and innovative introductions. Transitions, zoom, and effects are the tools; my vision is the fuel.

Needless to say, I enjoy the process of creation as much as publishing the end result, a satisfaction that requires no external incentive.

Driven by the truth that there can be no limits to creating art from a series of blank tracks, I believe that, similarly, there can be no restraints on the expansion of knowledge. Discussion, exploration, and experimentation are the tools; my intellectual vitality is the fire.