Prompt: There may be personal information that you want considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals, or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment.
My essay-
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if my parents stayed married. Sometimes I wish I could see them happy, and not have to remember them fighting. Maybe it would have been better that way, to have them together and have a whole family than to have this broken one.
I ask myself if that's the answer.
My parents divorced when I was three years old, a pretty average story, considering the divorce rate in the United States today. People aren't happy with each other any more. Its not like I remember them together. I only have one picture with my dad, my mom, and myself. The thing I do remember is the years that followed.
I remember how nasty the divorce was. I remember it making the news. I remember how bad it was to be carted between the two of them, acting like children communicating only through lawyers. Over what? It's not like my parents had money. It's not like they were fighting over who would get the house or who would get the dog. They were fighting over little old me.
My father was remarried a few months after the divorce, and yes all hell broke loose. I was mad and angry at my father for not loving my mother, but finding it in him to love this wretched woman. Someone that I could care less about, someone that was careless about me. Again, I was still young 4 years old perhaps. I remember how violent it got, between my step brother and I.
Years passed and my first step mom passed away due to health problems. My step brother was arrested for possession of illegal substances on multiple occasions. Non of this bothered me, none of it pushed me emotionally as what was about to happen.
My father fell in love again. This time with a women named April.
Everything changed. Suddenly I became his daughter again. Suddenly he cared about me, and my accomplishments. And over the next few years I became what he loved as well. The only thing that bothered me was the fact that he loved April as well. My selfishness wanted my father all to myself. I wasn't willing to share him. I moved to Texas, which strained our relationship harder. He had work. At first he was visiting me all the time. Once a month at least, But gradually he stopped calling, and his visits were longer spaned maybe 3 times a year. We kept in touch, he is my dad after all.
But I couldn't help blame April. I mean who does this women think she is? Taking my father away from me when I had just gotten him back?
It challenged me to even think of this women part of my family. She was a homewrecker. She was taking him away.
Then came October of 2008, when my father was to be remarried in Las Vegas, to this women who in my mind was taking him away. The day started out okay enough. I spent it strolling along the strip with my grandparents. I couldn't help think, that in a few hours my father was going to be wed to a stranger. One I could not accept as an Ellison. My mother and I were running late to the ceremony, as always, and took the remaining two seats in the front of the outdoor chapel. We sat, made small talk, and my mother could see my growing nerves. She knew this was hard for me. To see another woman marry my father. Someone that wasn't her. She would never be my mother.
As April stepped through the door and the wedding march played, I have never felt so stupid. This woman was perfect for my father, she made him happier than I have ever seen him, he smiled more, he loved more. I know she would never be my mother, and she had never ever tried to replace her. I cried that day. But not because I was angry, but because my dad was finally happy.
So I overcame the challenge of letting a stranger step into my family.
We are an odd one at that. I have 5 sets of grandparents and endless amounts of cousins. But because of April I have learned to be more patient and to not be so selfish. My family is stretched all the way from Texas to Georgia. It still isn't entirely easy for me to watch my father love another woman, but hey on the Brightside I get more presents on Christmas due to my new grandparents. More to love.
I'm not sure if i like it or not.
I need feedback on weather or not this fits, and any errors you spot.
please and thank you!
I really enjoyed your essay. It was well thought out and very easy to follow.
You had a couple of grammar errors:
None of this bothered me, none of it pushed me emotionally as what was about to happen.
If I were you I would combine these sentences as so. I cried that day;But not because I was angry, but because my dad was finally happy.
Some of your transitions weren't very clear.
Just a suggestion, instead of using a 4, maybe you could type out "four".
Good Luck on your admission to UT Austin :)
