Word Count: 435(Is it too short???)
It was a crisp evening: the red sun slowly sinking in the far horizon and mild breeze swaying the flowers in vases. A phenomenal end of another day was inviting its complementary night. However, quite unexpectedly at the next instant my mother's mobile rang. After a short and fast conversation over the phone, my mother scampered towards my room where I found her staring at me wearing a flinty look in her face. But she could not suppress her emotions anymore, and triumphantly threw her hands to hug me. Finally, her voice exuberantly revealed, "I passed my exam!"
It was an overwhelming moment: after a decade of continuous effort, she had outperformed approximately six thousand candidates to be promoted in the government job. What could be more inspiring for me - a student who could not qualify into any college or university in the last fall! During those earlier moments of rejection nothing seemed to go right - as though disappointment had completely engulfed my dreams and aspirations; failure had mightily grasped me irretrievably in its might palm. The world had turned upside down! But now after every this, I am as positive as ever, possibly even more.
Often as I compare my life to my mother's past, even my few of my supposedly huge problems lose their magnitude. Unlike my mother when at my age, I have a perfect home support, read in better school, enjoy a more liberal society, access better communication tools, and what not else. Although these comforts and accessibility helped me to develop for better, it lacked hardships that forge a human. That void was what those rejections probably helped to fill.
Now, I am better prepared to deal with the college tasks and thirstier than ever to get a good education. Physics is really a hard nut to crack requiring continuous efforts and at times yielding very little awards. One must learn to fail thousand times like Thomas Elva Edison and sometimes cope with lack the infrastructures like young Faraday. To an extent, my gap year precisely taught me those valuable lessons which would come handy in later of my life.
As on that day, I looked at my mother's glad face with bleary eyes, I could see there a dream vested on me. If a mother had toiled for ten years, should her child give up in one? Certainly my mother wants me to go far beyond. That moment, with a reinvigorated strength and will power, I had determined for the rest of my whole life - 'If life would strike me hard, I would strike it harder!'
I don't have yet the property of this languages, but I read carefully yours essay.
It seems very good!
I think that you should review the first paragraph ... for me it's not clear. But overall it's in point of view very very good. I learned many new words! Thanks!
look in her face.
You can say look in her eye.
or
look on her face.
...failure had mightily grasped me irretrievably in its might palm. ----How is it possible that you were rejected? If you wrote this essay, you obviously have a strong mind. No one without a high level of intelligence can write this way, and I think anyone who reads tis will appreciate you.
Very good---> If a mother had toiled for ten years, should her child give up in one?
I like the ending a lot. This essay is definitely going to help you to be admitted. Good luck in your chosen field! Also, thanks for all the work you are doing at EssayForum!
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