Peace Corps wants to assess your professionalism and maturity as a candidate

So, my partner and I are applying for Peace Corp. If anyone could provide feedback on our essays it would be greatly appreciated!

"*Peace Corps service presents major physical, emotional, and intellectual challenges. In the space below, please provide a few paragraphs explaining your reasons for wanting to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer and how you plan to overcome the various challenges associated with Peace Corps service. This essay is the writing sample Peace Corps uses to assess your professionalism and maturity as a candidate. Please spend time editing your essay/writing sample (up to 500 words)."

Peace Corp Motivation Essay

Teaching overseas has been a dream of mine for years. I was blessed to be born in the United States and I desire to use my education and experiences to make the world a better place. I believe small changes have everlasting impacts. Often times I am asked why do I want to be a teacher? People say I could do "so much more". Well, we all teach. We all are role models whether we know it or not; people all around look at you to see what decisions you make, this is especially true of kids. When you realize this it can very rewarding. And that is why I "just teach". I know that it is my responsibility to teach not only academic values but also life skills. It is my calling to help kids get ready and prepared for the real world.

When I began to think about teaching overseas I realized I had a opportunity to connect a passion for science with a burden to teach children that may not have the same opportunities as I did. I know no other job that is more important to the world than the profession of teaching. Teaching can be challenging. Teaching can be tough, especially while being overseas. I'm not going into this thinking it will be sunshine and rainbows of course there will be downsides at times, but the overall rewards of teaching outweigh those challenges. Especially when you finally break a language barrier with a group of students, or when you have a struggling child begin to excel. When teachers begin to realize they are the profession that teachers all other professions the mundane of work or the struggles erode and is replaced with hope, passion and joy. Teachers can truly change the world one student at a time, and that is why I am a teacher.

So I addressed above motivation but what about challenges? I recognized that there would be professional challenges but it's easy to assume being in a country outside of the USA will present a number of challenges ranging from LGBT acceptance to communication back home. That is part of the reason Andrew and I ultimately decided to leave it up to the placement officer to place us. We want to be placed where we will be most needed. If that means we need to adapt strategies to make us appear straight we can. One of the reasons we are requesting to be placed together is so we can have that built in support system. If accepted, Andrew and I will have lived together for two years. We have learned how to support each other through bad times (his dad passed away right as we got together, my aunt passed away this past summer), and through the good times. We both have a passion for education and for making a difference and are looking forward to a life of service through the Peace Corp.

TJ, sure you and Andrew, as partners will have a built in support system, but, what if the placement officer decides to assign you separately as they tend to do couples who are not yet married? Would you still want to be in the Peace Corps as volunteer then? Think about that possibility and address is in the essay. Additionally, your essay lacks evidence that you will be able to survive in the countries were Peace Corps volunteers are normally placed. The reviewer will be looking or evidence that you know how to "rough" it so to speak. Think "Survivor" meets "Amazing Race" in real life and there is no ticket to paradise as the end. Only more hardship, more adjustments, and more psychological demands upon you either with or without your partner. Remember, you could be assigned to a country where LGBT couples may not be accepted, how would you deal with such challenges? Do you have experience camping in the wilderness? Could you survive situations where there are no proper bathrooms, you won't have enough money to even buy a sandwich or a bottle of water, or worse, the rickety house you were given to live in caves in during a storm? Truth be told, the depiction that you have in this essay shows that you are looking a the life of a Peace Corps volunteer through rose colored glasses. There is nothing in the essay that can strengthen your application or your consideration since you even went to the extent of anchoring your application on a "couples" acceptance. I am advising you to rethink the content of your essay and develop a better one that shows you have the strength of character, cunning, and ability to survive in the most extreme of circumstances rather than the simple presentation that you have now. The sense of maturity, responsibility, and ability to adapt to any given situation is not present in your essay. There is no real sense of maturity in it. Consider the guide questions and suggestions that I provided and adjust your essay accordingly.

@Holt thank you for insight. I agree that the things you mentioned are definitely missing. But as I have a word limit of 500 words I am not sure how to address those topics and the ones I mentioned in depth. Talking to other RPCV they said the largest component is "why do you want to serve" that is why we both spent so much of our word limit describing our motivation. Also, PC to my knowledge now places unmarried couples together from my understanding talking to several recruiters as well as PCV.