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how does Penn make a perfect match for you?



gbtl 4 / 2  
Oct 13, 2008   #1
Describe the courses of study and the unique characteristics of UPenn that most interests you. [not more than one page]

Picking the right college to spend the remainder of my youthful days is no mean feat. Some people end up regretting their decisions for the rest of their lives, and a handful have already begun yearning for greener grass on the other side of the fence. Naturally, selecting one's second home for the next four years of one's life will be a momentous and life-altering decision and there is no room for any mistakes.

Unlike many others who "fell in love with the impressive and distinctive architecture of their campuses", I must admit that my acquaintance with the Wharton School of Business is a result of many lazy Sunday evenings watching the popular reality television series "The Apprentice". An avid fan of the series, I was fascinated and inspired by the exhilarating lifestyle of business executives who were constantly being challenged by demanding circumstances and the exigencies of work. Meanwhile, I developed a great deal of respect for Donald Trump and read up on his background over the Internet, during which I learned about his alma mater, the University of Pennsylvania, and the top-notch education it provided. Subsequently, it subtly became my aspiration to be part of the community of the University of Pennsylvania.

Having spent my life so far in a metropolitan city like Singapore, I long for a refreshing change in lifestyle. It would be great to pursue my tertiary education in a place with an extraordinary cultural milieu. As America's first university, UPenn has a rich heritage and possesses the perfect amalgamation of the classic and the contemporary. The small town feel of UPenn together with its location in a big city like Philadelphia would allow me to enjoy the best of both worlds.

Another attractive aspect of UPenn is its multidisciplinary and flexible curriculum. Minimal restrictions on interdisciplinary programs, the array of art and science courses available, and the rigor with which they are conducted, appeals to my desire for an intellectually stimulating curriculum to familiarize me with the working world. As Singapore is a country with no other natural resources besides manpower, the Wharton curriculum will impart me the necessary skills to contribute to my country. A concentration in management will enable me to inspire and lead others around me in future while a concentration in real-estate will enable me to play a role in molding the urban environment in land-scarce Singapore. The vast options of extra curricular activities available have also left me spoiled for choice and I look forward to participating in a varsity sport along with dance.

True to its spirit of diversity, UPenn admits the largest number of international students in the Ivy League. This would provide a conducive environment for cultural exchange and social networking. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time spent during international cyber-gaming competitions where there were many opportunities to interact with people from various backgrounds. Such instances have allowed me to appreciate the diversity of cultures in different parts of the world, and learn more about exquisite intricacies of life beyond Singapore's shores. Consequently, I am looking forward to sharing experiences with international students during my time there.

Wharton also places a huge emphasis on the liberal-arts with its foreign language requirement policy. The French and Spanish languages have been of interest to me in recent times, and I am hoping to fulfill my linguistic pursuits in UPenn. Having acknowledged the importance of being conversant in several languages, mastery of the aforementioned languages, on top of English, Mandarin, Malay and Japanese which I am currently fluent in, will prove to be an asset in my future career. I also hope that I will be able to participate in the Wharton International Program, so that I can build a strong foundation for my linguistic skills and cultural understanding.

UPenn also provides strong support for its students with its various initiatives and schemes. The Wharton's Lunch and Learn series offered for undergrads caught my eye when I was surfing the Wharton web-page. Throughout my education, I have believed in establishing close relationships with my teachers and I hope to continue bonding well with my professors during my tertiary education years. It is certainly easier to learn from someone I can communicate with as I would be less restrained from clarifying any of my doubts.

In addition, my proactivity as a student will allow me to contribute to campus life. My experiences in teaching and tutoring will allow me to organize schemes to help other academically weak students who are unable to afford tuition services. I am also well-versed with competitive e-sports and can help to promote it on campus which will contribute to the development of a vibrant atmosphere and competitive environment in the university.

Having lived up to its reputation as a place where opportunities are granted and dreams are fulfilled, the University of Pennsylvania is the lush patch of grass I deem greener than the rest. I early await my admission to UPenn, where I can discover and harness my potential, and look no further beyond any fence.

I'm not sure if I am supposed to dive straight into answering the question or if I should give such an introduction about how I discovered Penn. I also did not elaborate too much on the courses which I intend to take so I am wondering if i have to add another paragraph. I'm more or less at the limit with almost 800 words so please tell me what I should omit if I were to include something else.

thanks

EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Oct 14, 2008   #2
Good afternoon.

Mechanically, the same thing as your previous posts. Make sure you are enclosing your punctuation inside of your quotation marks.

I suggest cutting out a lot of the detail in the essay (mainly the beginning) and getting right to the point. There are going to be countless essays along with yours, so you need to make the best use of the admission board's time and be concise in the piece. Try removing many of the statistics, as the board will already be familiar with them and it can come across as sappy pandering.

Once you remove a lot of the frill, I think you've got a very good, strong essay.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
OP gbtl 4 / 2  
Oct 14, 2008   #3
thanks for reviewing my essay. I have one more question. After cutting the frill, are there any other aspects of Penn that I should write about?
EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Oct 17, 2008   #4
I don't think so; you've done a very thorough job as it is. I think you've covered all of the major ones. Nice work.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


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