"my hair and I are a perfect match" - personal quality, talent, Statement

This is my personal statement for prompt 2. Let me know what you think please.

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Every strand is coiled from root to tip. It seems to take a different shape every time we're reacquainted. I am identified everywhere because the bushy mop on top of my head is visible from afar. There is no such thing as hiding for me. My fair complexion had allowed me to blend in while my hair was straight but the entire time, my real hair waited for the day that it could spread its curls out and expose my true identity.

I decided that summer that it had come time to make the best of my enormous hair. My mother, who lived in devastating poverty under a single mother raising a family of twelve, had migrated from the Dominican Republic in hopes of becoming the first to graduate from college. Her ethnicity created obstacles when she finally passed over to the "Land of Opportunity" and her dreams were dismissed when she woke up and was hit with the reality that her dreams were not attainable.(HERE I'm going to add specific examples of things...but she isn't home for me to ask her -____-) So as you could imagine I was hesitant of allowing my curls to be free because I thought being "Latina" would negatively affect me. With Latinos having the highest dropout rate in the nation, so many people have lower expectations for children of Hispanic descent. I refused to be a part of this status quo. It sickens me to know that every single one of my cousins is seen as a failure and that is why I've determined myself to accomplishing as much I can during my high school years. I want to prove that it's possible for this small big-haired "Latina" to make it to the top.

I've come to accept my culture and am proud to have the hair that I do. I decided I wanted to accomplish everything my parents couldn't without disguising my true identity. So on that Monday morning three years ago, I chose to let my hair down as a constant reminder of why I'm fighting to be successful.

I know see that my hair and I are a perfect match. Just as my life has been all over the place, so is my hair. As I enter my senior year as the associated student body president, I know I am one step further into becoming the greatest that I can be as a child from immigrant parents. Although I also have the honor of holding the title of homecoming queen, the only crown I truly want to wear is the pride of attending a UC and being the first to graduate in my family. This will open up doors to my potential and be the next step of my journey into becoming the pride and joy of my family. There will be no limit to my accomplishments. One day, I know my success will be as big as my hair.