1.CAREER GOALS: Include a brief statement of your plans for the field of study you wish to pursue. This should include your reasons for studying your chosen field, your intended area of specialization within this field, and a brief description of the career you plan to follow after completion of this course of study at Penn State.
shall i talk something about my wide interest and personal goals ? and should i deal with the part "a brief description of the career after completion of the course" by focus on the field of ee as my major? If so, to what degree?
2.PERSONAL STATEMENT: Please tell us about your preparation for college. Explain any interruptions in your schooling, e.g. military service or emplyment. Please tell us about your important time commitments other than academic work(for example, school organization, jobs, the arts, service, and athletics)
need I describe my courses in high school ? I think in this essay, I should accentuate extracurricular activities, community service, and employment. But I also confused to what degree they should be described.
And I wonder how to assign all contents in two essays, and balance them with coherence.
I do need your help! It's really urgent! Any advied welcomed! Thank you all! :)
You seem to be on the right track for the first one. You would start out talking about your wider reasons for wanting to study in your chosen field, and then get more specific about what you hope to accomplish in that field.
For the second one, the prompt does indeed ask you to talk about extracurricular activities. Try to relate them to the ways in which they helped prepare you for college. The degree to which you describe them will depend upon how many you have and how much you have to say about them.
It would help if you wrote out a rough draft, even if you did it through free writing, so that we had something substantial to comment on.
This is my essay for career goals:
As both of my parents were art students in college, when I was a little boy, I thought engineering jobs are mysterious and awesome. It is normal for a boy like me, and even many adults, because average people, in the typical run of ordinary life, do not ever have any personal dealings with engineers, even though we benefit from their work every day. When I watched the Discovery programs which introduced application of new technologies, I was shocked by the penetrating discernment and endless imagination of engineers; when I saw the panels of GE which said, "The wind energy power generation comes from GE", I admired the electrical industry for its contribution to the upgrading of life.
During my school years, I found many of those who did excellent jobs in math and physics and shared amazing practical skills, had parents with engineering backgrounds, though their jobs varied from chief designers, professors, to entrepreneurs. In the days I lived in Zhongguancun, Beijing, also called "China's Silicon Valley", every morning I could see staff of Internet companies and software suppliers fill up the streets, who hurried to office with prepared box lunch in their hands. When I accessed skyscrapers, I respected most the young engineers in research and development department of leading industrial companies, and I could feel my strong desire to join them.
I intend to pursue a bachelor degree in electrical engineering in next four years, and I am prepared to succeed within your rigorous program while the Department of Electrical Engineering at Penn State is among the largest, oldest, and the most innovative in the nation. While electrical engineers have contributed to the development of a wide range of technologies from the Global Positioning System to electrical power generation, electrical engineering as a major offers various courses of a comprehensive knowledge system, which covers the field of mathematics, physics, computer science, and management. Meanwhile, electrical engineering contains a wide range of sub-disciplines from power engineering, signal processing, instrumentation, to microelectronics and telecommunications, which means more potential and choices for a lifetime of success. Electrical engineers design, develop, test and supervise the deployment of electrical systems and electrical devices; they may work on the operation of power stations and the lighting and wiring of Olympic Venues; they can be found in the offices of a consulting firm or on site at a mine. Moreover, I believe the training to be an engineer will equip me with problem-solving skills and continuous learning ability, and will instruct me to think intelligently in an objective and critical way.
As Thomas L. Friedman commented in his book, "the world is flat in the twenty-first century", in which "flat" actually means "connected": a drastic lowering of trade and political barriers, a great change of business modes and work patterns, a radical improvement of work efficiency and life convenience, in the foundation of exponential technical advances of the digital revolution. Electrical Engineers, beyond doubt, have been and will always be the promotional force of the digital revolution and contributor to the "flat" world, together with software engineers, scientists, entrepreneurs, and other pioneer groups of society. I am eager to step into this process of "regenesis", and dedicate myself to better use of energy, construction of better telecommunication systems, and supplying better equipment to organizations, companies and individuals as an electrical engineer.
plz give advice.tks :)
in the first sentence, "I thought engineering jobs are mysterious and awesome.", this should be changed to "were mysterious and awesome", you've used two tenses in one sentence and it will prob be the first thing people would notice when reading it. :)
also...
"It is normal for a boy like me, and even many adults, because average people, in the typical run of ordinary life, do not ever have any personal dealings with engineers, even though we benefit from their work every day. "
this is too long and a little 'all over the place'. maybe change it to something like;
it was normal for a boy like me, and even many adults to think this because people who live in the typical run or ordinary life never really think of the engineer, despite benifitting (spell that right) from their work every day.
As both of my parents were art students in college, when I was a little boy, I thought engineering jobs are mysterious and awesome.
Hmm..I don't really see the link. The cause and effect relation in this sentence isn't very logical.
I was shocked by the penetrating discernment and endless imagination of engineers
I was "amazed"? would that be better?
I admired the electrical industry for its contribution to the upgrading of life
During my school years, I found many of those who did excellent jobs in math and physics and shared amazing practical skills, had parents with engineering backgrounds, though their jobs varied from chief designers, professors, to entrepreneurs .
