So I usually find these essays the most difficult:
The Admissions Committee would like to learn why you are a good fit for your undergraduate school choice (College of Arts and Sciences, School of Nursing, The Wharton School, or Penn Engineering). Please tell us about specific academic, service, and/or research opportunities at the University of Pennsylvania that resonate with your background, interests, and goals. (400-650 words, I use 648)
I'm worried that I'm trying to say too much and that it makes my essay too unfocused..tell me what you think and what parts you think are not on topic. Also, my ending is a bit weak, any suggestions? Thanks :D (and sorry that its so long )
Ever since I attended the Advanced Biotechnology Institute (ABI), where I had the opportunity to learn and explore biomedical research topics, I've been crazy about genetics and molecular biology. This combined with my budding interest in psychology, neuroscience, and medicine and also my love for music may create a blend of subjects, like in the Penn Integrates Knowledge (PIK) initiative, that would create a vibrant or diverse learning experience for myself and also various opportunities and experiences.
With all my diverse passions and interests, I want to not only learn about them but also be able to apply them to the real world. I've learned various research techniques and seen them applied in various settings, like hospitals and ocean reserves, during my time at the ABI research program. Now, I want to explore more of this biomedical world through Penn's numerous research programs for undergraduates such as the Summer Undergraduate Internship Program (SUIP), Penn Genome Frontiers Institute (PGFI), Molecular Biology Summer Research Program for Undergraduates, CHOP Research Institute Summer Scholars Program, and the Department of Medicine Undergraduate Student Scholars Program. I know I can't do them all, but the fact that I have all these options makes me excited to attend University of Pennsylvania.
I've explored my passion for the natural sciences by taking the initiative to take the General Chemistry courses in the local college because I was not able to fit them in my schedule in school. I also had to make a choice between taking AP Latin V or Honors Anatomy and Physiology my senior year. I couldn't fit both into my schedule so I went with what I was more passionate about, Anatomy and Physiology, even though Latin, with its mythology and engaging Roman history, is also a great interest of mine. Anatomy and Physiology was still a great choice for me and it is my favorite subject out of every course I've ever taken. It's helped me to know for sure I want to go into the medical field.
Coupled with my budding love for medicine and the natural sciences is my passion to help others. I've been part of a couple of clubs in school and also made an effort to help out my community with my own skills in music. Through Urban Challenge Club, one of the community service clubs in my school, I've helped out the less fortunate community of Camden, NJ in various ways. We've visited their nursery, daycare, homeless shelter, and Cathedral Kitchen where we've brought donated food and toys and helping hands. I've found that helping out others even in small ways such as just talking to them and providing them with company really is enjoyable for me. I'm going to continue to help out in a similar way at Penn by taking part in the ABCS course through which I'll be able to interact with students in the West Philly school district. It's a small way among other community service opportunities I want to do once in college.
Researching more information about University of Pennsylvania really brought to light all the activities and programs a student can do there. I've discovered so many things I want to do and try, including the ones I mentioned above and also the Global Civic Engagement. I've always wanted to travel and with this program I can kill more than two birds with one stone by being able to learn, be an intern, and volunteer abroad. It sounds like an exciting adventure and one that I'm very anxious to undertake.
I've learned to value a diverse background in various academic subjects and to have many different experiences in order to be the person I want to be. I can't imagine being able to do everything I want to do anywhere else besides Penn where they have the resources, the initiative, and the passion that parallels what I find in myself.
The Admissions Committee would like to learn why you are a good fit for your undergraduate school choice (College of Arts and Sciences, School of Nursing, The Wharton School, or Penn Engineering). Please tell us about specific academic, service, and/or research opportunities at the University of Pennsylvania that resonate with your background, interests, and goals. (400-650 words, I use 648)
I'm worried that I'm trying to say too much and that it makes my essay too unfocused..tell me what you think and what parts you think are not on topic. Also, my ending is a bit weak, any suggestions? Thanks :D (and sorry that its so long )
Ever since I attended the Advanced Biotechnology Institute (ABI), where I had the opportunity to learn and explore biomedical research topics, I've been crazy about genetics and molecular biology. This combined with my budding interest in psychology, neuroscience, and medicine and also my love for music may create a blend of subjects, like in the Penn Integrates Knowledge (PIK) initiative, that would create a vibrant or diverse learning experience for myself and also various opportunities and experiences.
With all my diverse passions and interests, I want to not only learn about them but also be able to apply them to the real world. I've learned various research techniques and seen them applied in various settings, like hospitals and ocean reserves, during my time at the ABI research program. Now, I want to explore more of this biomedical world through Penn's numerous research programs for undergraduates such as the Summer Undergraduate Internship Program (SUIP), Penn Genome Frontiers Institute (PGFI), Molecular Biology Summer Research Program for Undergraduates, CHOP Research Institute Summer Scholars Program, and the Department of Medicine Undergraduate Student Scholars Program. I know I can't do them all, but the fact that I have all these options makes me excited to attend University of Pennsylvania.
I've explored my passion for the natural sciences by taking the initiative to take the General Chemistry courses in the local college because I was not able to fit them in my schedule in school. I also had to make a choice between taking AP Latin V or Honors Anatomy and Physiology my senior year. I couldn't fit both into my schedule so I went with what I was more passionate about, Anatomy and Physiology, even though Latin, with its mythology and engaging Roman history, is also a great interest of mine. Anatomy and Physiology was still a great choice for me and it is my favorite subject out of every course I've ever taken. It's helped me to know for sure I want to go into the medical field.
Coupled with my budding love for medicine and the natural sciences is my passion to help others. I've been part of a couple of clubs in school and also made an effort to help out my community with my own skills in music. Through Urban Challenge Club, one of the community service clubs in my school, I've helped out the less fortunate community of Camden, NJ in various ways. We've visited their nursery, daycare, homeless shelter, and Cathedral Kitchen where we've brought donated food and toys and helping hands. I've found that helping out others even in small ways such as just talking to them and providing them with company really is enjoyable for me. I'm going to continue to help out in a similar way at Penn by taking part in the ABCS course through which I'll be able to interact with students in the West Philly school district. It's a small way among other community service opportunities I want to do once in college.
Researching more information about University of Pennsylvania really brought to light all the activities and programs a student can do there. I've discovered so many things I want to do and try, including the ones I mentioned above and also the Global Civic Engagement. I've always wanted to travel and with this program I can kill more than two birds with one stone by being able to learn, be an intern, and volunteer abroad. It sounds like an exciting adventure and one that I'm very anxious to undertake.
I've learned to value a diverse background in various academic subjects and to have many different experiences in order to be the person I want to be. I can't imagine being able to do everything I want to do anywhere else besides Penn where they have the resources, the initiative, and the passion that parallels what I find in myself.
