I finished my draft for the Common Application Essay recently. Since it asks for an essay that will showcase your individuality, I opted for an unusual topic.
Please help me edit my essay.
The Perfect Girl is no dream, no illusion. Rather, she is the embodiment of desire and fantasy, the ultimate reality. For every girl we see, we recognize our beloved in bits and pieces. It may be the shy glance, the sensual touch, or those enticing words that pour from her essence ; in it all we see a bit of the beauty we long for, yet which we cannot possess. And thus we continue to seek and to search, continuously, and evermore . Yet the more we look, the farther we stray, and the greater the yearning.
To say that she does not exist is to be ignorant of her subtlety, for she is the standard from which all comparisons are made. Satisfaction then, is nothing, but a compromise, between the impossible and the possible. Nothing but a pause from the eternity we cannot hold, to the reality that holds us.
What then is perfection? For me, she is a renaissance woman in ability and a nymph in personality. To have a curious and provocative mind, an encompassing intellect, wide range of interest, and above all, a logical mind set. That is, not to mention, the ability to succeed in any area where she so desires. Neither art nor science presents any challenge to such a talented individual. Whether it is singing, writing, dancing, or reading, learning, and thinking, she embraces each form and possesses a considerable degree of proficiency in all.
Yet to describe her personally will be like describing a nymph. She is the maiden of the forest and the companion of the rivers. Endlessly joyful, yet strangely enigmatic. She radiates mystery and a rebellious nature. A willful individual, she detests the mainstream, choosing instead to frolic in her own dreams. An idealist in thought, a pragmatist in action. She encompasses the two desires of man. She may approach with her own willful actions, yet at times may seem to withdraw into the depths of her mind. Alluring but strangely ambiguous, she presents herself as a challenge to all who dare face the thick foliage of the jungle to penetrate into her depths.
Once found and wooed, she is the perfect companion. Intuitive in detecting sorrow, instrumental in keeping joy and soothing spirits; she is a candle radiating warmth and laughter in the cruelest nights. Whether your journey brings you to the ends of the earth or not, she remains by your side, always curious, always exploring. Providing fresh insights and new perspectives in most situations, her presence is never boring, but always desired. You feel lost in her soft radiance, her ability to bring you from the depths of the city to the heart of the wild on the bridge of imagination.
Nevertheless, at her core, she is never truly tamed. Her wild nature will occasionally peek out with playful naughtiness. At times like this it is best to be prepared, for her deeds and actions will once more revert to random chaos, the personification of her own fantasies. Yet, this can only add to her desirability, as this unpredictable and naughty streak only serves to heighten excitement amidst her ordered chaos.
Yet like all perfect creatures, she is only an ideal. Her presence is something that is only felt on those wild windy days of abandon. A brief uplifting transportation into the realm of dreams until the winds should die and leave nothing but a faint fragrance, a corner in memory that never dies. And for all that remains, we are once more left in this cruel, cruel world. A reminder of the brevity of our own desires, and by extension, our own lives. Perhaps, an ideal, is just that, an ideal. To be desired and to be dreamed on. At the end, it is once more up to us to glance downward, away from the heavens, into the road that stretches ever onward.
Thanks in advance for any comments and suggestions!
Please help me edit my essay.
The Perfect Girl is no dream, no illusion. Rather, she is the embodiment of desire and fantasy, the ultimate reality. For every girl we see, we recognize our beloved in bits and pieces. It may be the shy glance, the sensual touch, or those enticing words that pour from her essence ; in it all we see a bit of the beauty we long for, yet which we cannot possess. And thus we continue to seek and to search, continuously, and evermore . Yet the more we look, the farther we stray, and the greater the yearning.
To say that she does not exist is to be ignorant of her subtlety, for she is the standard from which all comparisons are made. Satisfaction then, is nothing, but a compromise, between the impossible and the possible. Nothing but a pause from the eternity we cannot hold, to the reality that holds us.
What then is perfection? For me, she is a renaissance woman in ability and a nymph in personality. To have a curious and provocative mind, an encompassing intellect, wide range of interest, and above all, a logical mind set. That is, not to mention, the ability to succeed in any area where she so desires. Neither art nor science presents any challenge to such a talented individual. Whether it is singing, writing, dancing, or reading, learning, and thinking, she embraces each form and possesses a considerable degree of proficiency in all.
Yet to describe her personally will be like describing a nymph. She is the maiden of the forest and the companion of the rivers. Endlessly joyful, yet strangely enigmatic. She radiates mystery and a rebellious nature. A willful individual, she detests the mainstream, choosing instead to frolic in her own dreams. An idealist in thought, a pragmatist in action. She encompasses the two desires of man. She may approach with her own willful actions, yet at times may seem to withdraw into the depths of her mind. Alluring but strangely ambiguous, she presents herself as a challenge to all who dare face the thick foliage of the jungle to penetrate into her depths.
Once found and wooed, she is the perfect companion. Intuitive in detecting sorrow, instrumental in keeping joy and soothing spirits; she is a candle radiating warmth and laughter in the cruelest nights. Whether your journey brings you to the ends of the earth or not, she remains by your side, always curious, always exploring. Providing fresh insights and new perspectives in most situations, her presence is never boring, but always desired. You feel lost in her soft radiance, her ability to bring you from the depths of the city to the heart of the wild on the bridge of imagination.
Nevertheless, at her core, she is never truly tamed. Her wild nature will occasionally peek out with playful naughtiness. At times like this it is best to be prepared, for her deeds and actions will once more revert to random chaos, the personification of her own fantasies. Yet, this can only add to her desirability, as this unpredictable and naughty streak only serves to heighten excitement amidst her ordered chaos.
Yet like all perfect creatures, she is only an ideal. Her presence is something that is only felt on those wild windy days of abandon. A brief uplifting transportation into the realm of dreams until the winds should die and leave nothing but a faint fragrance, a corner in memory that never dies. And for all that remains, we are once more left in this cruel, cruel world. A reminder of the brevity of our own desires, and by extension, our own lives. Perhaps, an ideal, is just that, an ideal. To be desired and to be dreamed on. At the end, it is once more up to us to glance downward, away from the heavens, into the road that stretches ever onward.
Thanks in advance for any comments and suggestions!