Its a common apps essay
although I'm not entirely sure which category it would fit
evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you?
or topic of your choice?
I just wrote this one up in 3 hours so its pretty basic
so sorry about the grammer and stuff in advance. Any corrections/advice would be helpful!
Thanks a lot!
"Smile!" Another 5 seconds of holding a fake smile and another photograph taken in front of this hideous statue. I never understood my mother's philosophy of photo taking. Sure, I recognize the value of taking a photograph of the picturesque view at the top of a mountain, but why of this hideous statue on the sidewalk? Is it really worth the effort of all of us standing side-by-side, forcing superficial smiles until she is satisfied with the result? Believe me, I would not be complaining with one photograph. But she has to take a second one with us in different positions and with bigger smiles and a third one just in case the first two somehow do not make it. Soon enough, our cheeks begin to hurt and we start to ignore our mother's calls to stop for, you guessed it, yet another photograph.
In Korea though, I could deal with it because it was the norm. Everybody took photographs everywhere and of anything. So there was no real embarrassment if you stopped in the middle of a busy street and decided that it was time for another photograph.
Things changed however, when we moved to Australia. As a part of a minority in this foreign society, every trip outdoors was filled with painful minutes of being self-conscious for this very shy boy. So you can imagine the humiliation and discomfort I would have to overcome as more people gave me 'the look' while I was posing for a photograph in front of an ordinary supermarket. I tried to argue with my mother that it is not normal for us to be stopping for photographs at every opportunity; that we do not have to take the camera with us everywhere we go because it is not the norm here. I was simply afraid of being dissimilar and wanted to fit into the Australian way of life.
Two years later, I went back to Korea for a holiday. I was keen because it was my first time going back since leaving for Australia, but I never thought I would encounter such a shock. One afternoon, as I was strolling down a street, a group of teenage girls was walking towards me, conversing very loudly. As they walked by me in mass, I was confused because the girls looked exactly alike. They all had the same haircuts and the same clothing! This was completely contrary to Australian teenagers who tried their best to look as much unique as possible. It was slightly amusing, but I took little notice of it. A Few days later, I visited a popular street for young Koreans. Here I was stunned. Once more, everyone had the matching hairstyles, the similar fashion and the same looks. I saw one person and soon saw another and another that looked exactly identical as the former. This was the Korean way of life. Everyone must follow everyone else. Everybody wanted to look different but they were in fact, ironically, afraid of "catching someone's eyes." It was rather comical that everyone looked similar. But at the same time, I had a frightening thought that had I continued to live in Korea, I would lose my identity just like them. I believed that I had escaped such conformity by moving to Australia.
What I did not realise was that I still was one of them.
One day, back in Australia, my group of friends began talking about a party from few years ago. I nodded in agreement but I could not remember the event at all. Slightly puzzled at this lack of memory, I found a handful amount of photographs I had taken over the years. I was bewildered when they triggered old memories that I thought were lost forever. I remembered the party and understood what they were talking about. Suddenly I wished I had listened to my mother more. I wish I had taken more photographs with my friends. But as I pondered more deeply, to my horror, I realised that I was a victim of outright conformity. I was scared of looking different and attracting people's attention. It was me who was in fact afraid of "catching someone's eyes."
My attitude changed. I began to follow my own senses and feelings. I no longer wanted to become a lawyer or a doctor because everybody else wanted to or told me to. I was no longer afraid of the fact that I was different. I wanted to follow my heart.
When senior years began at high school, I was no longer the quiet Korean boy at the back of the class. I got involved at every opportunity possible. I tried out for the leadership team, became the assistant coach for a rugby team and represented the whole school in Singapore and Melbourne. I was no longer a spectator but the main actor. I took control of my own life and I loved every minute of it.
I don't want to be one of them. I want to be myself. For the camera though? It's always here with me.
sorry i got to fix that up
just read the first half please and im changing the second bit lol
i like it! it's really unusal, your essay, but i think the admin officers will like that. where are you applyingto?
reivised version
REMOVED
haha sorry i put up the revised version without seeing your comments
thanks but I won't be sending the old one, I think the new one has more focus and more of an idea.
my unis? Tufts, George Washington, American, Clark, U of Richmond and Canisius
Very interesting essay. I like the subject and it tells people a lot about yourself.
thanks vectoraj
any grammatical/spelling errors or bits that doesn't make sense?
cheers!
I really liked your essay. Your voice is really good and your essay is unique so it makes it interesting. My family always carries around a camera too (we're Chinese), so I understand your situation haha. But I really like it! :)
I didn't notice anything major, but I think "realised" here is spelled "realized."
I realised the benefits of a camera, the benefits of a simple photograph
hey thanks a lot lol
yeah even as I finished this essay and we went out for dinner
mum still had a camera with her and well, we ended up posing for some more lol
and about the correction - that was the first version which i cut and made into the second one so don't worry about that
thanks anyway though!
I'm glad you like it though
I thought of the idea 2am last night and finished it 5pm today
i did sleep in between though lol
i really like it too and hopefully i'll get in somewhere with this :)
Is it really worth the effort of all of us standing side-by-side, forcing superficial smiles until she is satisfied with the result?
She has to take a second one in a different position with a bigger smile and a third one just in case the first two somehow do not make it.
Soon enough, our cheeks begin to hurt and we begin to ignore our mother's calls to stop for, you guessed it, another photograph.
Things changed however, when we moved to Australia. As a part of a minority in this foreign society, every trip outdoors was filled with painful minutes of being self-conscious for this very shy boy.
A Few days later I visited a popular street for young Koreans.
Good essay! My mother is the same way with her camera, we all spend quite a lot of time smiling while we wait for the flash...
:)
Kevin
