Hello, I am writing a transfer admission essay for transfering to UConn. I do not know if my essay follow the prompt well and whether my essay is too lenghthy or not. Should I state some of my qualifications and improvements that I have done to reach my goals?Thanks so much in advance for your advices and comments.
Prompt:
Please include a thoughtful commentary on your academic goals and an explanation of reasons for leaving your present/most recently attended college, and for wanting to attend the University of Connecticut. If your educational attendance has not been continuous, your essay must include information about your activities during those times not spent in school.
Essay:
University of Connecticut-The place starts and nurtures my dreams
Attending- Learning, Sharing and Self- expressing - Growing and Succeeding
Alain Bloom is right as saying "Education is the movement from darkness to light". In fact, knowledge is a restless treasure and education is the foundation and power to change the world and ameliorate the quality of life. Similarly, the role of education is obviously indispensible and necessary for the movement of civilization and modernization of human being. As for me, colleges are the place that students can not only perceive innovative and useful knowledge but also express themselves and give their own opinions. I am happy that I have a chance to study in the U.S, the country that has one of best education systems. The important thing is that I can get over my "shell" and see the world. Living here helps me be more confident and active. I have perceived a lot of interesting things from the professors, classmates and surrounding people. Thanks to them, I feel that I have been improving my studying and language skills and especially the initial of learning and exploring. I am eager and enthusiastic to challenge and cultivate myself in professional and active environment of University of Connecticut.
University of Connecticut is no longer strange to us with the famous records and accomplishment in sports. Besides, it is well-known for a great education system and the good quality of teaching and learning. As for me, colleges are the places for students not only perceive knowledge but also find the persons inside of them and the passion of learning and exploring. And if we could maintain the perseverance of learning, we will never cease to grow. I believe that University of Connecticut is the dynamic and helpful place for me to find my sense of self and discover the energy inside of me; freely give my opinion and contribute and argue to professors about concerned subjects matter.
My academic goal upon entering to this school is to immerse myself in the line of business and economy, particularly in the international business courses. Through this major, I hope to acquire some general knowledge as it would bring exposure to international business laws, business administration and finance, trading rules and regulations etc., to support for my career in the future. Becoming an international business manager that could helps to run businesses efficiently and effectively in global market has been my dream and aspiration as young age. I believe that acquiring and sharpened leadership qualities, competitive spirit, communication skills and international experiences will help me skillfully and confidently deal with cultural and boundary challenges while doing business and cooperation with or in foreign countries. It is still a long shot from what I am now, but going to University of Connecticut is a moving step and also firmly foundation for me on accomplishing that goal.
As the world becomes more of a global village and trade barriers are eased, there will be an increased need for personnel who can develop an international clientele in terms of understanding international business and marketing, international law, and international trade and finance. In addition, negotiation and government regulation will increase the need for personnel with specialized expertise in international business ventures, financing techniques, and language skills. Understanding the demand and requirement of the dynamic market and challenges that I will face to, I have been putting a lot of efforts and times to try to gradually better myself and explore the world. I am confident that I have had a good and firm preparation to enter to the new challenge. I am maintaining and trying to cultivate some of the required qualifications to help me succeed. Like I am curious and ambitious as I always try to find the different solutions for occurring problems. On the other side, I little by little cultivate my people skills as being communicative and flexible dealing with difficult problems and stress. Moreover, I usually contribute and actively participate in class and do not hesitate to express the opinions in discussions. I am confident and passionate about what I love to do and demonstrate myself. I would like to prove that I am unique and different. I think that I have potential skills, passion and belief that I am exceptional and I could change the world.
That would be a pleasure for me to attend a famous university like University of Connecticut. It is a good educational environment that provides me knowledge to prepare and be ready for challenges in life. I acknowledge that it would be a real challenge for me to train myself, challenge with other students and tough subjects but those are chances for me to learn and improve myself. Challenges make us discover things about ourselves that we never really knew. They're what make the instrument stretch-what make us go beyond the norm. Nothing great in this world is invented without passion. The advice of my mother is always a motivation that inspires my passion of learning and bettering myself: "Invention is developed from defeats; happiness is appeared from sacrifice and hardship. In this life, there is no ending road but some boundaries; the indispensable thing is finding the power and perspiration to pass over these." There are many difficulties ahead waiting for me but I am confident that I have already had a good preparation to overcome those. Admission into University of Connecticut means that I can achieve personal and scholastic excellence. I want to become a successful manager I see when I close my eyes to visualize my future, and I sincerely believe that UConn could take me there.
I am thankful and appreciative of your time and consideration. It would be a real pleasure and honor being able to be an element in University of Connecticut community.
Respectfully,
Vinh Nguyen
Prompt:
Please include a thoughtful commentary on your academic goals and an explanation of reasons for leaving your present/most recently attended college, and for wanting to attend the University of Connecticut. If your educational attendance has not been continuous, your essay must include information about your activities during those times not spent in school.
Essay:
University of Connecticut-The place starts and nurtures my dreams
Attending- Learning, Sharing and Self- expressing - Growing and Succeeding
Alain Bloom is right as saying "Education is the movement from darkness to light". In fact, knowledge is a restless treasure and education is the foundation and power to change the world and ameliorate the quality of life. Similarly, the role of education is obviously indispensible and necessary for the movement of civilization and modernization of human being. As for me, colleges are the place that students can not only perceive innovative and useful knowledge but also express themselves and give their own opinions. I am happy that I have a chance to study in the U.S, the country that has one of best education systems. The important thing is that I can get over my "shell" and see the world. Living here helps me be more confident and active. I have perceived a lot of interesting things from the professors, classmates and surrounding people. Thanks to them, I feel that I have been improving my studying and language skills and especially the initial of learning and exploring. I am eager and enthusiastic to challenge and cultivate myself in professional and active environment of University of Connecticut.
University of Connecticut is no longer strange to us with the famous records and accomplishment in sports. Besides, it is well-known for a great education system and the good quality of teaching and learning. As for me, colleges are the places for students not only perceive knowledge but also find the persons inside of them and the passion of learning and exploring. And if we could maintain the perseverance of learning, we will never cease to grow. I believe that University of Connecticut is the dynamic and helpful place for me to find my sense of self and discover the energy inside of me; freely give my opinion and contribute and argue to professors about concerned subjects matter.
My academic goal upon entering to this school is to immerse myself in the line of business and economy, particularly in the international business courses. Through this major, I hope to acquire some general knowledge as it would bring exposure to international business laws, business administration and finance, trading rules and regulations etc., to support for my career in the future. Becoming an international business manager that could helps to run businesses efficiently and effectively in global market has been my dream and aspiration as young age. I believe that acquiring and sharpened leadership qualities, competitive spirit, communication skills and international experiences will help me skillfully and confidently deal with cultural and boundary challenges while doing business and cooperation with or in foreign countries. It is still a long shot from what I am now, but going to University of Connecticut is a moving step and also firmly foundation for me on accomplishing that goal.
As the world becomes more of a global village and trade barriers are eased, there will be an increased need for personnel who can develop an international clientele in terms of understanding international business and marketing, international law, and international trade and finance. In addition, negotiation and government regulation will increase the need for personnel with specialized expertise in international business ventures, financing techniques, and language skills. Understanding the demand and requirement of the dynamic market and challenges that I will face to, I have been putting a lot of efforts and times to try to gradually better myself and explore the world. I am confident that I have had a good and firm preparation to enter to the new challenge. I am maintaining and trying to cultivate some of the required qualifications to help me succeed. Like I am curious and ambitious as I always try to find the different solutions for occurring problems. On the other side, I little by little cultivate my people skills as being communicative and flexible dealing with difficult problems and stress. Moreover, I usually contribute and actively participate in class and do not hesitate to express the opinions in discussions. I am confident and passionate about what I love to do and demonstrate myself. I would like to prove that I am unique and different. I think that I have potential skills, passion and belief that I am exceptional and I could change the world.
That would be a pleasure for me to attend a famous university like University of Connecticut. It is a good educational environment that provides me knowledge to prepare and be ready for challenges in life. I acknowledge that it would be a real challenge for me to train myself, challenge with other students and tough subjects but those are chances for me to learn and improve myself. Challenges make us discover things about ourselves that we never really knew. They're what make the instrument stretch-what make us go beyond the norm. Nothing great in this world is invented without passion. The advice of my mother is always a motivation that inspires my passion of learning and bettering myself: "Invention is developed from defeats; happiness is appeared from sacrifice and hardship. In this life, there is no ending road but some boundaries; the indispensable thing is finding the power and perspiration to pass over these." There are many difficulties ahead waiting for me but I am confident that I have already had a good preparation to overcome those. Admission into University of Connecticut means that I can achieve personal and scholastic excellence. I want to become a successful manager I see when I close my eyes to visualize my future, and I sincerely believe that UConn could take me there.
I am thankful and appreciative of your time and consideration. It would be a real pleasure and honor being able to be an element in University of Connecticut community.
Respectfully,
Vinh Nguyen