General essay for Yale, Rice, Harvard... etc. with a 500 word limit. Feedback appreciated!
Politics has always been a controversial, if not discouraged interest within my family. Science and mathematics were dominant. Learning about the inner workings of chemical reactions or the derivative of a function f for all real numbers proved to triumph in importance over political controversy. However, as much as my parents had discouraged my involvement in politics, I nevertheless took to exploring major sociopolitical issues with a mind set on considering immediate and long term solutions to pressing matters. Through a long-fostered interest in public policy, I began forging my own mental connections between society and science, beholding a wondrous array of interaction.
Science, as a methodology and subject, encompasses so much application and connection to global issues that it demands relevance in other fields. I saw a potential for connection between scientific principles and legislation, constantly inquiring about science and technology based policies in research and education. Often times, I would find myself asking about how the material in the classroom connected with policy in the long run, with questions like, "Should the regulators of science and technology be educated as a prerequisite to serving policy?" and "What long-term implications will arise from what the men and women in Washington are doing for the scientific community?"
I managed to answer my own questions over time when participating in Model Congress. Through countless practice sessions with my fellow students, I conquered my fears of public speaking and debate to ardently defend the policies that I considered the most pressing. In the many conferences I attended, I defended a myriad of policies dealing with space, science, technology, energy and commerce. Most invigorating, however, was the process of drafting legislation. A thorium-based nuclear power initiative was my signature bill, where I dedicated nearly two months' time to exploring research, debate and issues regarding the history and mechanics of nuclear power. It wasn't an obvious conclusion for me to initially draw that thorium-based power plants are more efficient for power generation given the current costs of its processing. However, substantial promises of less nuclear waste, safer operations, and a near impossibility of nuclear proliferation struck a note within me. I swiftly penned a bill to, under a congressional simulation, fund and execute an expansion of nuclear power with the interest of promoting thorium as an alternative fuel.
I always keep a habit of pondering about the distant future, and how present policies and decisions will affect society over time. To think of future generations and the unique challenges that will surface inspire me to explore further, constantly seeking to satiate an appetite for knowledge that has grown immeasurably over the years. I continue to follow present policy and politics, and constantly lose myself in thought over how humanity can satisfy its own demands.
It's a good essay but it is a lot of telling instead of showing. Perhaps you can delve deeper into your experience in Model Congress. Instead of just writing about your experiences, show a situation of what happens or maybe tell an interesting anecdote that is related to your interest. Another note is that you should focus on yourself more than your subject of interest.
Good luck!
