This is an essay for Marquette Universities six year pre-law program. They only admit about 15 people each year so I really need help making this essay absolutely amazing! Any help would be extremely helpful. Thank you!
"Please describe your personal and educational experiences that have stimulated your interest in a law career." (300-500 words)
About two years ago I started my own organization, S.C.P.I (Stop Child Prostitution in India). Young girls, from India, my homeland and pride, are suffering through prostitution as young as five years old, because their families cannot afford to even put a roof over their heads. This organization I started from scratch now has over 2,000 members on my Facebook group who are aware of an issue people at one point had no idea was even going on in the world. With success comes an opportunity to give others in the world a chance to sleep with a smile on their face at the end of the day. Though various encounters, law has become a true passion of mine.
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AboutTwo years ago I started my own organization, S.C.P.I (Stop Child Prostitution in India).
Young girls from India,---No comma after 'girls'.
This organization I started from scratch now has over 2,000 members on my Facebook group, who are now aware of an issue that most people at one point had no idea was even going on in the world.
After visiting India with my family last December, I understand more every day why I have a drive to make a difference in the world.
I saw elderly men and women with missing limbs, fighting to barely stay alive.
... however, to be accepted into your pre- law program is not just an academic accomplishment for me, but also a step closer to having a chance to make a difference in peoples lives.
With these goals and values I have endured , I know that I will be able to succeed at any task given to me and set myself...
Thank you :)
CORRECTED VERSION:
Two years ago I started my own organization, S.C.P.I (Stop Child Prostitution in India). Young girls from India, my homeland, are suffering through prostitution as young as five years old, because their families cannot afford to even put a roof over their heads. This organization I started from scratch now has over 2,000 members on my Facebook group, who are now aware of an issue most people had no idea was even going on in the world. With success comes an opportunity to give others in the world a chance to sleep with a smile on their face at the end of the day. Though various encounters, law has become a true passion of mine.
As I continue to mature and encounter obstacles in life, I realize the importance behind certain values instilled in me. After visiting India with my family last December, I understand more every day why I have a drive to make a difference in the world. I saw the reality people face and pain they withstand to simply live a normal life. I saw children, naked and scared begging on the side of the road. I saw elderly men and women with missing limbs fighting to barely stay alive. I saw pain in the eyes of the young who have a dream to be able to go to school one day when their parents can afford it. I saw a different world, a world that must change. Everyone has their own reasons why they want to go into the field of law; however, my dreams of being a lawyer are far beyond many. I strive to proceed my work in the Human Rights field and maybe one day even be a part of the United Nations, a goal that remains very close to me. I have a goal to pass laws and set up programs that benefit the unfortunate who cannot fight for themselves. These are the goals I endure that I can assure your university, will set me apart from all of the others applying to your Pre-Law Program. I may not have the highest ACT score or the best GPA you have seen within other applicants; however, to be accepted into your pre- law program is not just an academic accomplishment for me, but also a step closer to having a chance to make a difference in peoples lives. I want to be able to fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. I want to add a strong voice out there and spread humanity throughout this world. Going into the field of law will give me an open opportunity to make a true impact on another's life.
Anyone can simply go forward in life and achieve whatever they wish to do, but it's the drive to use the field I choose to study, for greater purposes to make a difference in the world that makes me the insightful young women I am today. With these goals and values I have, I know that I will be able to succeed at any task given to me and set myself apart from the millions of other young women in the world. Many say they want to make a difference in the world, but I am different, because I don't merely use words, I take action.