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Profile Questions and "Why Stanford" - Stanford Supplement Essays



KupcakeKim 4 / 10  
Dec 29, 2009   #1
I appreciate all criticism!

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1) Name your favorite books, authors, films, and/or musical artists.

Books: The Great Gatsby, Grendel
Plays: Pygmalion, You Can't Take It With You, The Glass Menagerie
Authors: F. Scott Fitzgerald, George Bernard Shaw, Henry David Thoreau
Films: A Walk to Remember, Pirates of the Caribbean
Artists: Coblie Caillat, Beyonce, Doris Day, DJ Tiesto

2) What newspapers, magazines, and/or websites do you enjoy?

Newspapers: Las Vegas Review Journal, LVA Accolades
Magazines: Time Magazine, Yen Plus Magazine, Seventeen, Travel + Leisure Magazine
Websites: Youtube, Myspace, Deviantart, Threadbanger, Pandora

3) What is the most significant challenge that society faces today?

Being sustainable is a challenge we are currently facing. We live in a world that carries an exponentially increasing population whose lives are lead by the convenience of technology. This single fact has upset our responsible use of natural resources.

4) How did you spend your last two summers?

2008: volunteered as a Muscular Dystrophy Association Camp Counselor; worked as Barista at Rejavanate Coffee Lounge; competed in Chaparral HS Soccer Intramurals.
2009: visited family in Romania, Europe; researched and went to see colleges; created and completed a list of books to read.

5) What were your favorite events (e.g., performances, exhibits, sporting events, etc.) this past year?

The Las Vegas A Cappella Summit, where my Jazz Choir had a bonding moment; Getting my driver's license, which let me be more involved outside school; Learning to surf in Hawaii; Teaching Romanian culture to Sam, an American-born family friend, during her first trip to Romania.

6) What historical moment or event do you wish you could have witnessed?

I wish I had been present during the invention of the phonograph and wax cylinders in 1877. I'm intrigued by what was Thomas Edison's thought process behind the idea of capturing the intangible object of sound. I value this invention because it was the precursor to all of today's recorded music.

7) What five words best describe you?

Perseverant, Inquisitive, Tactful, Passionate, Caring

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"Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you."
250 words minimum, but not to exceed 1800 characters

I've visited Stanford University just once and already had an adventure there. There is a reason why a school becomes as renowned as Stanford does; I didn't have to venture very far to find out why.

I had been sitting on the steps in front of Memorial Hall waiting for my tour guide to arrive when I noticed the harmonious traffic of bicycles travel around a fountain. These students may have simply been commuting to class, but their view of life couldn't have been represented more clearly on their determined faces: they were there to make a difference. I want to make difference too and I believe I can, through Stanford's advocacy that entering college with broad ideas is best; I will bring an accompanying will to refine them through research.

I hope for a community that believes collaboration is the best way to overcome challenges. A school which encourages students to become promoters of social justness would be the perfect home for my loves of cooperation, consideration of others, and exploration of diverse perspectives. My wish is to apply these values to my studies in the International Relations program at Stanford.

My ever expanding range of passions is covered perfectly within Stanford's organizations. As a student I would without doubt tryout for the Women's Club Soccer team, join the Ballroom Team and the Romanian Student Association. I plan to study abroad in Japan during a year of college and I have particular interest in the Kyoto Bing Overseas Study Program. I can also imagine applying the performing arts skills I've acquired at my high school to the drama department or a music group like Harmonics.

These activities, in addition to my preferred major and the atmosphere created by everyone involved, prove that my opportunities will be limitless at Stanford.

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tkkt1 11 / 47  
Dec 29, 2009   #2
Being sustainable is a challenge we are currently facing.Passive voice, revise into active voice. Who is we, and who is being?

I've visited Stanford University just once and already had an adventure there . I have only visited Stanford once and I have alread had....There is a reason why a school becomes as renowned as Stanford does; I didn't have to venture very far to find out why.doesn't make sense and is unnecessary

I had been sitting on the steps in front of Memorial Hall waiting for my tour guide to arrive when I noticed the harmonious traffic of bicycles traveltraveling around a fountain.

Return the favor and read my essay please
OP KupcakeKim 4 / 10  
Dec 29, 2009   #3
@ tkkt1:

thank you for your help, it's greatly appreciated.
I changed question #3 to:

Sustainability is a challenge that society is currently facing. We live in a world that carries an exponentially increasing population whose lives are lead by the convenience of technology. This single fact has upset the responsible use of natural resources.

Is that in active voice?

And I revised the second part as well, it flows smoother, thanks.

Yeah, I'd love to help you out.
tkkt1 11 / 47  
Dec 29, 2009   #4
Try: Society is currently facing the challenge of achieving sustainability. Hope that helps.


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