Purdue personal statement - interest in science

I need help with my personal statement for purdue. This is my first personal statement and i'm not sure if i am doing it right or not. any advice/criticism would be greatly appreciated

the question is Describe how your college education will allow you to achieve personal and professional goals?

here is what i have so far...

My interest in science started when I was a child. I would always read books about science and do "experiments" with items in the kitchen. My interest in science continued throughout my life and now I plan on majoring in chemistry. A college degree will aid in my unending search for knowledge.

The first year that I took chemistry, I had little interest in it. Then the following year I took chemistry II along with AP biology. These 2 classes combined sparked my interest in chemistry. I began to enjoy larning how things work at the molecular level. I later realized that chemistry is everywhere and having a degree in it would help me get a job practically anywhere.

A college degree will also open many new doors for me, allowing me to have many choices in life. It will also help me participate in research that will benefit society and save lives.

So you disliked the first year of chemistry but then paired with AP Biology it turns into your dream. I don't get it.


This is a little immature. Ideally you want a degree in a subject because it is what you love. Chemistry cannot get you a job anywhere anyway.

You don't explain anything in this essay. How long is this suppoed to be? It would be easier if you wrote the whole thing and then posted.

okay ill finish it then post the rest

If you can, be more specific. Do you look forward to the process of getting the degree -- taking lots of classes in lots of different subjects, perhaps discovering unsuspected areas of interest? Do you have an idea -- other than vague "research" -- of the sort of work you might like to do?

I would start off with an anecdote of some sort, or a more detailed description of an experience that showed your interest in science...elaborate on the "experiments" you performed in the kitchen maybe?

^Actually, a college degree does not aid in an unending search for knowledge, seeing as how college degrees are typically limited to four years of undergraduate study...


^Well, this begins to get off point. This does not answer the essay question at hand.

You really need to cover a lot more depth in this essay. It is very basic and I presume you understand this as well.

here is an updated version of my essay with everyone's suggestions

thanks for the suggestions/criticism

(by the way it has to be under 500 words)

My interest in science started when I was a child. I would always read books about science and do "experiments" such as mixing vinegar and baking soda the. My interest in science continued throughout my life and now I plan on majoring in chemistry. A college degree will aid in my search for knowledge and allow me to learn new information.

My first few years of high school I wasn't interested in any particular subject over another. When I took chemistry I became increasingly interested in it. My interest in chemistry continued to grow throughout chemistry I and chemistry II. I am interested in chemistry because I enjoy learning how things work at the molecular level. I later realized that chemistry is everywhere and is related to many other sciences. Having a degree in chemistry would help me get a job that I enjoy.

A college degree will open many new doors for me, allowing me to have many choices in life. It will also help me participate in medicinal research to save lives, and get into graduate school to attain a Ph.D.

word count = 180

^While some can achieve a strong creative essay in less than 200 words most of us mortals cannot. I suggest you use the remaining 320 words to add an in depth example of how your love for chemistry came about.


^Really now...






"Having a degree in chemistry would help me get a job that I enjoy."
^I thought you were going to write "Having a degree in chemistry would help me get a job that I am interested in"

"A college degree will open many new doors for me, allowing me to have many choices in life. It will also help me participate in medicinal research to save lives, and get into graduate school to attain a Ph.D. "

^You have already chosen chemistry though so why do you care if you have other choices. Ph.D? That's like..I want to turn 18 so that I can turn 19 to attain 20 years of age.

^I do not quite understand your analogy Lamapoop.
Kaleb, getting a college degree can open doors. However, the extent to which it will help you participate in medicinal research to 'save lives' is debatable. Also, you are implying that having a college degree can certainly get you into graduate school and also attain a PHD degree. Realize that getting into graduate school requires more than just a college degree, and so does earning a PHD degree. Failure to acknowledge this simply shows a lack of mature understanding in regards to your future.

I was implying that "and get into graduate school to attain a Ph.D. " is an empty statement.

Alright. Say that then.

Why do you suddenly go off talking about how you like biology and then end the paragraph with "Having a degree in chemistry would help me get a science career that I enjoy."? Your essay is 270 words! How are you fitting 2 different topics into an essay that is half its suggested length?

Variations of the phrase "I like..." are used too many times.

I became interested in science as a child. I would always read books about science and do "experiments" such as mixing vinegar and baking soda. My interest in science continued throughout my life and now I plan on majoring in chemistry and minoring in biology. A college degree will aid in my search for knowledge by allowing me to learn new information.

My first few years of high school I was not interested in any particular subject over another. I went from class to class without giving them a second thought. When I took chemistry my sophmore year I became increasingly passionate towards it. My interest in chemistry continued to grow throughout chemistry I and chemistry II. I like chemistry because I enjoy learning how things work at the molecular level. I later realized that chemistry is everywhere and is related to many other sciences.

My junior year I took AP biology, along with chemistry II. That year I also became attracted to biology. I liked learning about living organisms and how they work. In AP biology, we went on a field trip to a Sam Rhyne genetics conference. We learned about the newest technology and progress in genetics. The genetics conference held my attention the whole time and it was very engrossing. Having a degree in chemistry would help me get a science career that I enjoy.

In conclusion, a college degree will open many new doors for me, allowing me to have many choices in life. It will also help me attain a career in science that I will be passionate towards, and help get into graduate school.

I became interested in scienceA s a child, I would always read books about science and did "experiments" such as mixing vinegar and baking soda.


You simply cannot conclude like this. I'm sorry, but it makes you sound like a simpleton. Having a college degree will help you get into graduate school? How much more vague and uninformative could a statement be? Are you truly interested in science? Say exactly what you wish to study. Say which sub-fields of biology or chemistry interest you. Say what kind of work or research you might like to do in the future.

my suggestion:
use the word limit!! i mean i know you may have wanted to be different by going shorter with the word limit and stuff or something, but i think you can do better if you use the word limit to handle you businesss ;P

good luck!

i agree with all the comments here, making it more specific and haveing a more solid ending would really make it a good essay haha

well good luck!!!