Hi! I've written an essay for transfer to UT Austin, and I was hoping to get some feedback on it. Any feedback on it would be helpful. Thanks!
Statement of Purpose
Our home address has changed at least six times during the course of my life. Because of my father's vocation as a minister, our family moved frequently: from the U.S. to South Korea, from South Korea to the U.S., or within the U.S.. Although the environment, the people, and the circumstances varied every time we moved, one aspect did not change, and that was how people viewed and treated me because I was a pastor's child. People expected certain behaviors of me, and I, being fully aware of their expectations, became what everyone expected me to be.
Sometime during my early preteen years, my father was appointed to a church in Nebraska. Here, I developed an interest in human anatomy and physiology, and so, my aspiration for a career in the medical field developed. Among our church congregation were several individuals in the medical area, and to cultivate my career goal, I shadowed different people, such as a nurse anesthesiologist, occupational therapist, family practitioner, pathologist, and others. Toward the end of high school, I dreamed of becoming a family practitioner, and so, I entered Southern Methodist University as a major in biology, hoping to trek a successful path toward medical school.
At college, I was hundreds of miles away from home, and unlike at home, not everyone knew that I was a pastor's child. I was given this opportunity to unmask and discover myself by learning from how people treated me without knowing that I was a minister's child. From my experiences, my life perception changed. I changed.
Not only did my mentality become altered and enriched, but my ambition in family practice changed, also. After attending numerous pre-med club meetings and having discussions with older pre-med students, I concluded that pre-med was not intended for me, so instead, I resolved to become a nurse, a position equally as vital as a doctor in the medical field. Just as a shortage of physicians exist in the world, an insufficiency for nurses exists, also.
But exactly why do I wish to pursue a career in nursing? Along with the deficit of medical personnel, such as nurses, comes the increase in people's insurance costs or hospital bills, making it more difficult for lower-income families to receive necessary healthcare. Also, after physicians, nurses are the next people a patient contacts when in need of medical assistance. I hope to become one of those nurses, being able to assist individuals, both inside and outside the hospital, by providing helpful tips and facts that I learned from nursing school; for example, we may need to know what ointment to apply to a certain abrasion or how to alleviate flu symptoms. I will be able to become a link in the crucial chain of hospital staff members who strive to restore and improve people's health and be a positive influence on people's lives. In addition, I will always seek to enhance my medical skills throughout my nursing career by cultivating my high interest in the functions and composition of our human body.
Statement of Purpose
Our home address has changed at least six times during the course of my life. Because of my father's vocation as a minister, our family moved frequently: from the U.S. to South Korea, from South Korea to the U.S., or within the U.S.. Although the environment, the people, and the circumstances varied every time we moved, one aspect did not change, and that was how people viewed and treated me because I was a pastor's child. People expected certain behaviors of me, and I, being fully aware of their expectations, became what everyone expected me to be.
Sometime during my early preteen years, my father was appointed to a church in Nebraska. Here, I developed an interest in human anatomy and physiology, and so, my aspiration for a career in the medical field developed. Among our church congregation were several individuals in the medical area, and to cultivate my career goal, I shadowed different people, such as a nurse anesthesiologist, occupational therapist, family practitioner, pathologist, and others. Toward the end of high school, I dreamed of becoming a family practitioner, and so, I entered Southern Methodist University as a major in biology, hoping to trek a successful path toward medical school.
At college, I was hundreds of miles away from home, and unlike at home, not everyone knew that I was a pastor's child. I was given this opportunity to unmask and discover myself by learning from how people treated me without knowing that I was a minister's child. From my experiences, my life perception changed. I changed.
Not only did my mentality become altered and enriched, but my ambition in family practice changed, also. After attending numerous pre-med club meetings and having discussions with older pre-med students, I concluded that pre-med was not intended for me, so instead, I resolved to become a nurse, a position equally as vital as a doctor in the medical field. Just as a shortage of physicians exist in the world, an insufficiency for nurses exists, also.
But exactly why do I wish to pursue a career in nursing? Along with the deficit of medical personnel, such as nurses, comes the increase in people's insurance costs or hospital bills, making it more difficult for lower-income families to receive necessary healthcare. Also, after physicians, nurses are the next people a patient contacts when in need of medical assistance. I hope to become one of those nurses, being able to assist individuals, both inside and outside the hospital, by providing helpful tips and facts that I learned from nursing school; for example, we may need to know what ointment to apply to a certain abrasion or how to alleviate flu symptoms. I will be able to become a link in the crucial chain of hospital staff members who strive to restore and improve people's health and be a positive influence on people's lives. In addition, I will always seek to enhance my medical skills throughout my nursing career by cultivating my high interest in the functions and composition of our human body.
