Quest to Find Wisdom!; Common App

Quest to Find Wisdom!

Certain words cannot clearly be defined, due to their ambiguous nature. As a result, the way people define certain words evolves as they mature, and an example of such would be the word "wisdom." I once thought for one to be referred to as wise, he or she should possess an immense amount of knowledge that is superior and embodies a very educated being. Because of this misconception I thought there were very few wise people in the world and I would never have the opportunity to meet one. However, after putting myself in new environments, I have discovered a newer definition of this word. Wisdom is more than just knowledge; it's the culmination of one's life experiences, understanding, insight and common sense. Wisdom is gained over time and is seen from different viewpoints alongside with the footprints they leave on their life journey.

On my quest to find the meaning of wisdom, I met Dr. Cordi, a professor at Ohio Dominican University, and his storytelling class. Each student talked about a person that they have encountered and made a great impact on them; someone who embodied a sense of knowledge and experience. These individuals were referred to as "wisdom keeper." Each wisdom keeper was distinctly unique and sufficiently proved that wisdom was more than intellect. For instance, one presenter talked about her great-uncle who raised her from childhood. He went through a great deal of hardship in his lifetime, including face death head on; however, despite the horrific ordeal, he remained humble and loving. After listening to the various stories I realized the common thread between them was the main character's ability to captivate and inspire the audience. Although they did so in different ways, their end results were all the same; to spread wisdom to the world.

In continuation with this quest, I reflected on my collegiate experience. As a dual-enrollment student, I have been in college setting for 3 years and discovered that the purpose of attending college was not to acquire knowledge, instead to gain wisdom. Every class I have been in has contributed to a new component to my perception of the world. I was taught to view topics and ideas from a creative and philosophical perspective. With this template, I could later on use it to solve everyday problems articulately. Additionally, I learned the importance of being open-minded and realizing I did not know everything. Being open-minded showed me different approach could yield the same result, and how to view situations from others point-of-view. Furthermore it allowed me to seek help when needed. There were several occasions where I was in need of help and afraid of seeking it because would be viewed as 'dumb'. Once I accepted that my approach was not useful and I should use a different method, I started to thrive in classes. My quest for wisdom was only started with my early-college experience and I have faith that it will carry me on to newer and brighter paths in my future.

The part in bold do you think it is necessary for my point? Also I wanted my third paragraph to talk about the wisdom I have gain and what I plan on obtaining, do you think I have clearly done that? Also check for grammatical and clarity errors, and I will do yours in return.

Surprisingly, I wrote about a similar theme for my personal statement. Personally, I think your hook, or intro, needs to be better. While you discuss an interesting idea, perhaps begin your essay with a specific moment in time when you realise this before you move on into describing the idea as a whole; how words are ambiguous. Something else you could consider rearranging is how you put a sort of conclusion sentence in your first paragraph:

"However, after putting myself in new environments, I have discovered a newer definition of this word. Wisdom is more than just knowledge; it's the culmination of one's life experiences, understanding, insight and common sense. Wisdom is gained over time and is seen from different viewpoints alongside with the footprints they leave on their life journey. "

It could prove to be more interesting if you left your 'discovery' to be rather ambiguous and instead concluded your lesson after the example.
As for your bolded statement, I don't think it is necessary to prove your point and had actually confused me. I think you conclude your essay well, but could benefit from elaborating on say, an experience that you've had since then that turned out to be a great opportunity to show your new appreciation and understanding of the word 'wisdom.' I think you could also say something along the lines of "...I trust that my wisdom will help me adapt to a new environment at college and etc etc etc..."; in other words, expand upon how you think this new-found knowledge will help you in the future.

Hope I helped and good luck!

Instead of saying


You could say that my definition "wisdom" has expanded or you have assimilated new meaning to definition of "Wisdom".
P.S. hope you Understand what I am trying to say. my Grammar is bad.

Hope this advice helps. good Luck!!

How is this. The way I want me essay to flow is from vague to specific. Can you tell if I did this well in my revision?

Certain words cannot clearly be defined, due to their ambiguous nature. As a result, the way people define particular words evolves as they mature, and an example of such would be the word "wisdom." I once thought for one to be referred to as wise, he or she should possess an immense amount of knowledge that is superior and embodies a very educated being. Because of this misconception, I thought there were very few wise people in the world, and I made it my mission to meet at least one.

On my quest to find the meaning of wisdom, I met Dr. Cordi, a professor at Ohio Dominican University, and his storytelling class. Each student talked about a person that they had encountered and made a great impact on them; someone who embodied a sense of knowledge and experience. These individuals were referred to as "wisdom keeper." Each wisdom keeper was distinctly unique and sufficiently proved that wisdom was more than intellect. For instance, one presenter talked about her great-uncle who raised her from childhood. He went through a great deal of hardship in his lifetime, including face death head on; however, despite the horrific ordeal, he remained humble and loving. After listening to the various stories, I realized the common thread between them was the main character's ability to captivate and inspire the audience. Although they did so in different ways, their results were the same; to spread wisdom to the world.

In continuation with this quest, I reflected on my collegiate experience. As a dual-enrollment student, I have been in college setting for three years and discovered that the purpose of attending college was not to acquire knowledge, instead to gain wisdom. It was after I enrolled into my first college class pre-calculus, I came to this conclusion. I remember walking into the classroom assured that I was the brightest student because I knew a lot about mathematics. I soon learned although prior knowledge was necessary to pass this class, there were more factors that contribute to success in this subject. After receiving my first D on an exam, I understood you could never know enough about a subject, and it was alright to seek help. This class, along with others, contributed new components to my perception of the world. They taught me to view topics and ideas from a creative and unique perspective. With the insight I gained, I later could use it to solve everyday problems articulately. Additionally, I learned the importance of being open-minded. Being open-minded showed me different approach could yield the same result, and how to view situations from others point-of-view.

My quest for finding a wise person resulted in me coming to realization that I was learning some of the necessary tool become wise from my early-college experience. Therefore, leaving me to conclude that indeed my original definition of wisdom was wrong, and it is the culmination of one's life experiences, understanding, insight and common sense.

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but wonderful essay

Thank you so much. Did my essay answer the question I posted above?

diabatem
Can someone please revise my previous post?

ok i revised it again...
Certain words cannot clearly be defined, due to their ambiguous nature. As a result, the way people define particular words evolves as they mature, and an example of such would be the word "wisdom." I once thought for one to be referred to as wise, he or she should possess an immense amount of knowledge that is superior and embodies a very educated being. Because of this misconception, I thought there were very few wise people in the world, and I made it my mission to meet at least one.

On my quest to find a source of wisdom, I met with Dr. Cordi, a professor at Ohio Dominican University, and his storytelling class. They were discussing people who they encountered and made a great impact on their life. These individuals were referred to as "wisdom keeper." Each wisdom keeper was distinctly unique and sufficiently proved that wisdom was more than intellect. For instance, one presenter talked about her great-uncle who raised her from childhood. He went through a great deal of hardship in his lifetime, including face death head on; however, despite the horrific ordeal, he remained humble and loving. After listening to the various stories, I realized the common thread between the wisdom keepers was their ability to captivate and inspire the audience. Although they did so in different ways, their results were the same; to spread wisdom to the world.

In continuation with this quest, I reflected on my collegiate experience. As a dual-enrollment student, I have been in college setting for three years and discovered that the purpose of attending college was not to acquire knowledge, instead to gain wisdom. It was after I enrolled into my first college class pre-calculus, I came to this conclusion. I remember walking into the classroom assured that I was the brightest student because I knew a lot about math. I soon learned although prior knowledge was necessary to pass this class, there were more factors that contribute to success in this subject. After receiving my first D on an exam, I understood that one could never know enough about a subject, and it was alright to seek help. This class, along with others, contributed new components to my perception of the world. They taught me to view topics and ideas from a creative and unique perspective. With the insight I gained, I later could use it to solve everyday problems articulately. Additionally, they taught me the value of essentials traits in life such as: being open-minded. Being open-minded showed me different approach could yield the same result, and how to view situations from others point-of-view.

My quest for finding a wise person resulted in me coming to the conclusion that I was learning the necessary tools to become wise from my early-college experience and colleagues' interactions with their wisdom keeper. Therefore, leaving me to conclude that indeed my original definition of wisdom was wrong, and it is the culmination of one's life experiences, understanding, insight and common sense.

hello

I think would be nice if you put some introduce sentences firstly coz It will clearfy what the main point your essay.
yes, try to work with structure and keep in mind that it's a good make a plan before you're going to write essay