I have two essays, almost the same. However, one I have edited to be a little less controversial. I am not all that much of a good writer, so keeping that in mind go little easy. Any criticism is appreciated. Mainly, what I want to know from you, is if the first essay is too controversial?and if it is actually better as I think it to be? Thank you
"Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story."
Revelations(Less controversial)
You ever get the feeling that 'god' is somehow always on the 'preacher's' side. Well, I get that feeling. I get that feeling to such extent, that I would basically sum it up with the following scenario. Say, there's a poker table, with a preacher,a stranger, and me, sitting around it. So, a round comes up, where the preacher goes all in, but he's bluffing, he's bluffing with the worst poker face that he can afford - he knows he doesn't need it. He leans into me and he says in the kindest tone, "Son 'god' wants you to fold". Being the curious teenager that I am, I ask, "Why sir?". "We do not question 'god'", he tells me, as his kind tone abruptly disappears. I fold and that intimidates the other player, he folds as well, we never get to know the cards we could have played and well, the preacher concludes, "'god' has won".
I've always felt like that, I was mostly taught everything in that manner, even in school. There'd be the almighty syllabus, beyond which I was not to question, and even contents within the syllabus, that I was to know and not understand. Looking back at it all now, I feel like I should have grown frustrated of such confusing principles, that these preachers and teachers presented to me, and turned to the warm embraces of ignorance. However,I was quite the naive teenager, and I was scared of the wrath of 'god' like anything. I would read the Qu'ran in a foreign tongue that I barely understood, and it was almost the same case with my school books. In addition to that, I'd try to pray five times a day as fast as I can, so that I may have been saved from eternal suffering in the underworld. I felt very proud, as I saw my friends around me ignore these very same principles. I thought I'd have Heaven all to myself with the way things were going.
As luck would have it, I really did find the true meaning of religion and knowledge in a holy place, where the two collided - it wasn't a mosque but it was a physics classroom. As I entered this class for the first time, this distinctive looking, skinny old man was lecturing the class about a thought experiment, called Schrodinger's cat. I began to get the feeling that I was in the wrong classroom, but I still took a seat, as his words began to fill my head with answers, with understanding that my mind had been craving for a lifetime. The thought experiment goes like, if you keep a cat within a box with poison, and there is no way any stimuli can reach out to you from within the closed box, is the cat dead or alive to you? Well, according to the experiment, the cat is a wave as the box is closed, and when it is opened, the cat is, whatever we observe it to be. He ended the lecture with a teaser, asking us the question, "So who is observing you to determine your nature?". My soul glistened at the sound of that,because for a change, a teacher didn't end the lesson with, "memorize the page-whatever it is". However, I spent more time thinking on this one question than on any other school assignment, and it was one of the greatest feelings ever, to try to figure out something by myself.
Several such lessons followed after that - I'd ask him endless questions and he'd always have the answers. I wasn't enslaved by the fear of bad grades and an underworld anymore, I simply sought knowledge, and tried to understand religion. I began to generate my own ideas and beliefs from what I understood, and till today, they happen to be my only true possessions.
AND,
Don't have a title(more controversial)
You ever get the feeling that 'god' is somehow always on the 'preacher's' side. Well, I get that feeling. I get that feeling to such extent, that I would basically sum it up with the following scenario. Say, there's a poker table, and there's thirteen year old me, a preacher and, this other stranger playing. So, this one round comes up, and the preacher goes all in, but he's bluffing, he's bluffing with the worst poker face that he can afford - he knows he doesn't need it. He leans into me and he says in the kindest tone, "Son 'god' wants you to fold". Being the curious teenager that I am, I ask, "Why sir?". "We do not question 'god'", he tells me, as his kind tone abruptly disappears. I fold and that intimidates the other player, he folds as well, we never get to know the cards we could have played and well, the preacher concludes, "'god' has won".
Looking back at it all now, I feel like I should have grown frustrated of such confusing principles that these preachers present to me, and turned to the warm embraces of Atheism. However,I was quite the naive teenager, and I was scared of the wrath of 'god' like anything. I would read the Qu'ran in a foreign tongue that I barely understood, and try to pray five times a day as fast as I can, so that I may be saved from eternal suffering in the underworld. I felt very proud, as I saw my friends around me ignore these very same principles. I thought I'd have Heaven all to myself with the way things were going.
As luck would have it, I really did find the true meaning of religion in a holy place - it wasn't a mosque but it was a physics classroom. As soon as I entered this class for the first time, this distinctive looking, skinny old man was lecturing the class about the metaphorical nature of the Qu'ran. I began to get the feeling that I was in the wrong classroom, but I still took a seat, as his words began to fill my head with answers, that I had been seeking for half of my lifetime. He was telling us how preachers often dictate the meaning of each verse in the Qu'ran, rather than leaving it to the perception of the people. He explained to us, how the magic of the book is that it is written in metaphors, and how to each individual it presents a different meaning. Religion finally made sense again, and that's when I began my own spiritual journey to discover my own beliefs. That day I went home, and opened a very dusty copy of the English translation of the Qu'ran for the first time in my life. I was told by my preacher at a young age a lot of Muslim beliefs that seemed terrible. He told me of beliefs that dictated that, every non-muslim is to go to Hell, if anyone sees a single hair of a woman that woman is to go to hell, and many other such ridiculous beliefs, that didn't add up in my mind. According to his laws or should I say, 'god's' laws, everyone was to go to hell, for no woman in my family covered their hair. I could also never bring myself to believe that people whose only fault was being born into another religion, would suffer eternally. Soon I discovered that Qu'ran said no such things, and uncovered all such propagandas that are being spread in this subcontinental muslim community. It was the greatest lesson that I'd ever learnt: never to take anyone's word for anything and to think for oneself. These ideas that I began to generate were my only true possessions. In the end, I stopped fearing 'god' and started loving God.
