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"Questioning the answer" personal statement for undergrad college application



techmind20 4 / 7  
May 22, 2021   #1
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it.

If this sounds like you, please share your story.



I'd be really grateful if you review this essay of mine. Please point out any grammatical errors and areas of improvements. Thanks!

The results of a midnight research binge on the fundamental particles took me through quantum physics and somehow deposited me at a Quora post explaining the nature of reality. Now I have yet another mystery to add to my work under process journal: if consciousness is supposed to be the fundamental basis of reality, why can't we control our bodies which are just empty space and quantum fields?

It is as if I came pre-programmed to question the very answers; to take it upon myself to one day answer the unanswerable. Pair this with an unquenchable thirst of knowledge that I inherited from my father along with a very crooked nose; I usually don't require sleep at 2 am in the night. I require an understanding of the workings of this universe. Scribbling through the bundle of journals on my desk, I connect every piece of information, from the composition of the color mauve to the theory of relativity, aiming to make the world around me make sense. Even when doing so, however, newer thoughts flood my mind. "Where do thoughts even come from?" Not two pages later is the newest quest: "Can chickens recognize themselves if a mirror is put in front of them?"

According to Bruce Lee, "A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer" and I suppose I look just that while asking more questions in our physics class than I can count: a fool. But seriously, why is it not possible for momentum to be hidden to human eyes like how kinetic energy can be hidden as heat? I have never been satisfied with the overly simplified answers that I get at times, "It's the law of conservation of momentum" for one. My journal continues to expand.

I believe my intellectual curiosity is a result of my childhood experiences which have fueled my passion for learning inside and outside the classroom. My playground used to be a jumble of old circuit boards, spare electric wires, and an assortment of broken appliances. I spent hours disassembling and tinkering with the amazing treasures I found lying around our garage, all while mapping my questions and discoveries on a journal. Looking back at this journal, I realize that my childhood playtime allowed me to discover the irresistible appeal of imaginative questions and their fascinating answers that has now become an integral part of my life.

Now, although my playground has upgraded to consist of edX courses, articles, researches, and experiments, I continue to apply my curiosity to all aspects of my life. From wondering "What makes us human?" to "What is computable?" my journal continues to grow and so does my passion to unveil our world's best kept secrets. As I make use of apps like Reddit to learn from people with perspectives different from my own, I aim for my journal and myself to keep growing with every passing day. By refusing to accept the obvious explanation and refusing to settle for a superficial understanding, my goal is to one day be among the greatest innovators of all times, who were able to leave a mark on this world because of their intellectual curiosity. Who knows one day I might succeed at cracking the code of the nature of reality but till then, my journal and I are a work under process.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
May 23, 2021   #2
This section of the essay prompt allows you to showcase who you are beyond your interest in your major, I do not suggest continuing to focus on your course choice in this essay. Your other documents and personal statement or motivation essays will already accomplish that. For this prompt, show the reviewer who you are during your off time. Who are you to other people? What are your other interests? Allow the reviewer into another part of your world. The one beyond physics and studies. What other aspects of your character or personality might make you an interesting addition to the student roster? How can that make your application stand out? Do not focus only on Physics. What else interests you and why? It doesn't always have to circle back to your major. That gets boring and uninformative for the reviewer. Let them get to know the other you.
OP techmind20 4 / 7  
May 23, 2021   #3
Merged:

"Not settling for the obvious explanation" Personal statement for undergrad college application



So basically, I posted this essay before and one of the moderators pointed out that it feels as if it's all about physics and I should instead try to make it about myself. However, I intended this essay to be about my personality, of my habit to frequently ask questions since the obvious explanations never satisfy me. Apart from that, I want to convey the message that I believe this intellectual curiosity of mine will help me work towards the advancement of mankind by allowing me to uncover the truth behind the workings of this universe that we do not fully understand as of now.

Although I've made some edits, I understand that my essay is not what I intend it to be so I'd be really grateful if you suggest me some changes I can make so that this essay conveys the message that I want it to convey.

Also, I believe that this essay does not go well with prompt Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application will be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Perhaps I can put it under the prompt Share an essay on any topic of your choice.


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