My quiet balcony - why you chose the academic program- NCSU Prompt

My greatest source of inspiration and creativity, a green cabinet. Growing in one of the most densely populated cities Delhi, I found myself in a constant disarray of horns and sirens. My quiet balcony, enclosed by stained glass next to a Hindu Shrine in my rustic apartment, was my sanctuary. Lain next to the shrine was the green cabinet, where I often spent most of my days tucked in my own 'lair of knowledge' before I was summoned for dinner. What lay within it was a safe, some valuable possessions, but more importantly my father's old books. At first, a quick browse became a read I immersed myself for hours in. I was drawn by the appealing dollar bills on the covers of investment books- 'Think and Grow Rich' or 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad'. To me, all this talk about psychology and money was just as believable as Alchemists claiming they could make gold during the middle ages. But my own investigations from Wikipedia to old financial reports led me further down this rabbit hole, and eventually became something I cared about. The most special thing about these books was the emotional significance they held, each marked with my father's signature stamp that I cherished. Spending very little time seeing him as he worked abroad, instead of keeping a picture or some sort of memorabilia, I would flip through the pages of his books and be welcomed by the inviting tidbits of stories and regrets of people who lived before me. Inspired, I started my own business of making and selling my own homemade ice-cream which turned out to be great since Delhi is really hot. This is what economics really meant to me, to understand a demand or an opportunity and how to capitalize on it. I also realize that in order to be a good economist, you have to be a good mathematician. NC State offers a wide variety of opportunities such as their DRUMS research program as well as the Applied Math program which I believe would compliment my interest in economics while providing a foundational background to prepare me for the workforce.

You are taking too long to get to the point. This creative writing exercise will lose the interest of the reviewer by the 3rd sentence. You need to provide direct to the point responses in this case. You wrote so much about your balcony and books, but barely touched on why you chose the academic program. Revise the essay. This time, focus on proving to the reviewer that you have done your homework and understand how the academic program will help you achieve:

1. Academic goals
2. Personal growth
3. Professional objectives

That way the reviewer will know to consider your application based on information related directly to the school program and your insights as to how these connect with you on a personal level.