Raising a startup- extracurricular I am most proud of- Columbia University (150 words)

What single activity listed in the activity section of your Common Application are you most proud of and why? (150 words or less)

Celeribyte was a product of experimentation fueled by caffeine and insomnia. Seemingly impeccable, she arose from a coding all-nighter with two strangers who by dawn I referred to as co-founders as we celebrated the baptism of our hack into an 'operational' taxi service. A week without any successful transaction shifted focus from coding to the users. Days were spent listening to taxi drivers understanding their needs. Nights were spent tailoring every single line of code to count towards providing rewarding taxi experiences. Weekly, I exposed our iterations to their critical yet constructive feedback. Engaging them in our design process bore fruits as we hit a steady three hundred rides per week in the pioneering estate. I had begun hacking my community's problems one line of code at a time. The strangers were no longer just co-founders; code and design had churned a cosmic brotherhood between us.

Raphael, while I understand that you had partners who helped you develop the code for the transport app that your group successfully launched, you should be focusing your response on the way that you contributed positively to the undertaking instead of discussing it as a collective endeavor. While there were three of you in the group, working on launching the program, the whole group is not applying to college here, just you. So work on highlighting your participation in the group activities. What made you proud of the work that you did? Be specific and make sure to let the reviewer know that this was an aspect of the project that you are proud of because you accomplished the task, whatever it may be, alone, without help from the others.

I know that is is not easy to start up a company, most specially an app based company, However, I truly believe that each of you had a specific contribution to the company, without which the company would not be able to exist. So focus on presenting that to the reviewer. That should be the aspect of this activity that you are most proud of.

While this response is nice to read and shows how you can work with a team, it does not really emphasize your ability to accomplish an activity on your own and why that is important to you. A simple revision should help fix that problem.