Prompt : Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why.
Here's my first draft:
When it comes to choosing a university, we immediately look for its ranking, its renowned faculty, programs and research opportunities. Obviously, Columbia possesses all of these appealing qualities. (With its world-class faculty and various areas of studies and its Core Curriculum, Columbia finds its place as one of America's top universities.) I would not only receive a prestigious education but I would also grown into the person I would like to become by making significant contributions to the world. I see in Columbia the opportunity to surpass myself and acquire the motivation to always the best of myself
(However, my attraction to Columbia isn't only for the education). Its community, campus and traditions allure me. I love how Columbia reflects the atmosphere of New York City, an atmosphere that fosters creative thinking, self-enhancement and puts us straight away into the working field. I love how each student is unique and contributes to an amalgam of people with different minds, traditions and cultures. I love how Columbia encourages us follow our passions by introducing us to various subjects, languages and environments. I love how the College Walk looks like after the Tree-Lighting ceremony. I love sitting on the Low Steps or lying on the grass near La Maison Française to read a book. But most importantly, I love the way I feel each time I cross the main gates. I feel at home. I feel full. I feel passionate. I feel lucky to be there and hope that one day I would be a Columbia University student.
I've put in parentheses the sentences I really don't like.
Thank you so much for your help !!!
Here's my first draft:
When it comes to choosing a university, we immediately look for its ranking, its renowned faculty, programs and research opportunities. Obviously, Columbia possesses all of these appealing qualities. (With its world-class faculty and various areas of studies and its Core Curriculum, Columbia finds its place as one of America's top universities.) I would not only receive a prestigious education but I would also grown into the person I would like to become by making significant contributions to the world. I see in Columbia the opportunity to surpass myself and acquire the motivation to always the best of myself
(However, my attraction to Columbia isn't only for the education). Its community, campus and traditions allure me. I love how Columbia reflects the atmosphere of New York City, an atmosphere that fosters creative thinking, self-enhancement and puts us straight away into the working field. I love how each student is unique and contributes to an amalgam of people with different minds, traditions and cultures. I love how Columbia encourages us follow our passions by introducing us to various subjects, languages and environments. I love how the College Walk looks like after the Tree-Lighting ceremony. I love sitting on the Low Steps or lying on the grass near La Maison Française to read a book. But most importantly, I love the way I feel each time I cross the main gates. I feel at home. I feel full. I feel passionate. I feel lucky to be there and hope that one day I would be a Columbia University student.
I've put in parentheses the sentences I really don't like.
Thank you so much for your help !!!
