Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 4

Reading, bike riding, studying - Ohio State University Entrance Essay


Its3oClock 1 / 2  
Oct 13, 2010   #1
I'm not finished yet, but i'd just like to get some feedback on what i've started on! Thank you :)

Reading by Mirror Lake, bike riding through The Oval, or studying in Thompson Library. Just one look around The Ohio State University confirms why I want to become a Buckeye. The beautiful campus is exactly where I want to further my education and be able to call home.

The Fisher School of Business provides an academically challenging program for the students of Ohio State. I hope to become a part of the Fisher experience and the opportunities it has to offer. Being rated top in the nation, I know it will help me excel in management information systems.

Like I said, i'm not quite finished yet, but that's what i've started with. Thanks again to all!
OP Its3oClock 1 / 2  
Oct 14, 2010   #2
*I'm sorry, the prompt is: Why are you interested in The Ohio State University?
ryanthomas91 1 / 2  
Oct 14, 2010   #3
I'm a student myself. I would recommend replacing confirm with something more like elucidates and rephrase the part about you becoming a part of the Fisher experience and the oppurtunities it has to offer. I think it would be to to partake in the Fisher experience along with the oppurtunities it has to offer. Other than that, I think you're on your way.

Good Luck
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 16, 2010   #4
The beautiful campus is exactly where I want to further my education and be able to call home.

This sentence does not answer the question raised in the sentence that precedes it. "exactly where" does not say anything. What is the real answer to the question?

All you need is to be able to envision yourself learning the subjects that you want to learn at this school, in its particular program... with the professors, some of whose names you surely know.

Know what I mean? Show that you have a vision of the future.

This is not a goal: excel in management information systems. A goal needs to be more specific.

So... get detailed about how you see your future! :-)


Home / Undergraduate / Reading, bike riding, studying - Ohio State University Entrance Essay