VT reasons to be a Hokie

These are my two essays for VT admissions. Grammar and content feedback would be extremely helpful. Thank you in advanced (:

What are the top five reasons you want to be a Hokie?

There is absolutely no question about Hokies being one of a kind. From the burnt orange to the Chicago maroon, Hokie colors are inescapable.
What greatly attracts me to being a Hokie other than their festive colors is their motto Ut Prosim. As president of National Honor Society I have put great emphasis on giving back to the community. When giving back; what better community is there to give back to than your own. I have done so through coordinating community cleaning projects, working with local charities, extensive volunteering at my church, and several school drives. As a Hokie It would be refreshing to be among students that value service as much as I do. Since Virginia tech is ranked nationally in academics I would be guaranteed the hands-on, minds-on learning that I desire. Hokies also get to indulge in the best dining experience of the nation. Since cooking and I seem unable to get along, Virginia Tech's excellent food would surely save me from days of hunger and microwavable foods.

In my opinion experiences that make college memorable are derived from school spirit. It is common knowledge that Hokies do not lack any school spirit. Wherever they may be Hokies exude pride and love for their school so much so that they create a palpable electricity. Hokies bind together forming lifelong friends and remain loyal to their beloved school. I hope to one day have the privilege of igniting this Hokie pride within my own family.

MOD comment:One essay at one time please

Monica, the Ut Prosim reference you made is not properly placed in this essay. VT has a separate essay prompt that asks you to discuss their motto so remove that reference in this essay in order to remove the chance of redundancy of content. Try to discuss more relevant reasons for wanting to become a Hokie. Right now, your essay is quite scattered and really unfocused on specific and valid reasons for your wishing to join the VT community. Why don't you try to sit down and list 5 basic reasons that you chose to apply to VT. After you list those reasons, briefly write a sentence or two that explains the reason. I understand that you have a word limit of, I believe 150 words in response to this essay. I am confident that you can meet that word requirement with a well developed statement provided you revise the essay using the suggestions I gave you.

I feel that the Ut Prosim motto is definitely a major reason of why I wish to attend VT. I did not write a response for the Ut Prosim prompt so I figured I would include it in this essay. Do you suggest that I do that prompt instead?

Definitely write another essay for the UT Prosim prompt. That is a common app for VT that is of huge importance to the application process. Which is the main reason that is was given a separate essay. You need to thoroughly address the way that you understand the motto and how you embody it rather than making it a mere mention in an essay that begs for other reasons as to why you wish to become a Hokie. Remember, you need to write about 5 specific reasons that you look forward to joining VT. These reasons could be based upon academics, extra curricular activities, the student community, study programs, etc. Make sure that you clearly state the reasons so that 5 reasons will and can actually be counted when your essay is reviewed and read.