Harsh is OKAY! English is my second language so nothing will offend me in anyway. I don't really like this essay and feel like there is some way to improve it but I don't know how to. Thank you so much.
This is 583 words. I need it to be near 500 too but I can't cut words anymore. Please help me. Thank you so much, Habin.
Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Bill Gates II
Recently, I found a little "Introducing Myself" card that I made in first grade. The entries asked for my name, my hobby, my specialty, and my dream. What I put in the "dream" box interested me. I wrote in there "Bill Gates II, to make lots of money and donate all of them before I die." I thought, wow, seven years old Habin was pretty cute. Then I was shocked because when I saw this card, I realized the difference between the two Habins, one five years ago, and one right now; the one who loved computer so much that computer was the source of his power, and the other one who stopped caring about computer and degraded the wonderful machine to mere video game console. Honestly, I was disappointed at myself.
All my life, my whole attention, interest, and effort were devoted to computer. I was nicknamed Dr. Computer in my town and friends. I was even reading a book named "Teach Yourself C++"? The texts were like hieroglyphs. Even though I did not understand half of what it said, I read it out of fascination of the fact that I was reading a programming book, a pure computer book. I devoured everything about computer. Back then, I was the happiest kid in the world. However, at the time when I was living in the virtual world, it suddenly came to me that computer technology had hit its maximum height already, that there is no room for any new invention or further advancement. I came to a decision that I will be forced to stay as a "user," not a "creator," - that I will never be able to become Bill Gates II. It struck me hard. The fire that was burning ever so fiercely just suddenly went out as if someone had cut oxygen.
My engine went off. I was really disappointed and depressed; I could not find anything else to do. During the empty time, when I had nothing to do, I felt like a loser every minute. It was back then when I turned off my interest on computer. My dream did not have a bright future.
Then I moved to America and I started to get exposed to the whole new world. Until like two years ago, I believed that end-of-advancement-in-computer-technology theory was correct. Then I suddenly and explosively became aware of all these new inventions growing inside of the internet. INSIDE OF THE INTERNET, that's why! Of course I could not find any advancement! It was not physical or tangible anymore like it used to be. These new inventions were changing the world in a place where I could not see. As soon as I noticed this fact, so many "new inventions" I never noticed start to surface. It was not hard to notice that internet was going to rule the world.
This explosion relit my fire.
Ideas will come. Like Facebook, Twitter, Google, and YouTube, a brilliant idea will come if I keep strive for a most brilliant idea. Today, what internet can do is truly unlimited. And with this, I will make another curve in the line of people's lives just like what Google or Facebook did. A pen, when you use it, slits the paper, rips itself into the paper and leaves the ink in the slit making it permanent and genuine. Like a pen, I will make a bigger and bolder change and I am preparing myself for that day.
This is 583 words. I need it to be near 500 too but I can't cut words anymore. Please help me. Thank you so much, Habin.
Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Bill Gates II
Recently, I found a little "Introducing Myself" card that I made in first grade. The entries asked for my name, my hobby, my specialty, and my dream. What I put in the "dream" box interested me. I wrote in there "Bill Gates II, to make lots of money and donate all of them before I die." I thought, wow, seven years old Habin was pretty cute. Then I was shocked because when I saw this card, I realized the difference between the two Habins, one five years ago, and one right now; the one who loved computer so much that computer was the source of his power, and the other one who stopped caring about computer and degraded the wonderful machine to mere video game console. Honestly, I was disappointed at myself.
All my life, my whole attention, interest, and effort were devoted to computer. I was nicknamed Dr. Computer in my town and friends. I was even reading a book named "Teach Yourself C++"? The texts were like hieroglyphs. Even though I did not understand half of what it said, I read it out of fascination of the fact that I was reading a programming book, a pure computer book. I devoured everything about computer. Back then, I was the happiest kid in the world. However, at the time when I was living in the virtual world, it suddenly came to me that computer technology had hit its maximum height already, that there is no room for any new invention or further advancement. I came to a decision that I will be forced to stay as a "user," not a "creator," - that I will never be able to become Bill Gates II. It struck me hard. The fire that was burning ever so fiercely just suddenly went out as if someone had cut oxygen.
My engine went off. I was really disappointed and depressed; I could not find anything else to do. During the empty time, when I had nothing to do, I felt like a loser every minute. It was back then when I turned off my interest on computer. My dream did not have a bright future.
Then I moved to America and I started to get exposed to the whole new world. Until like two years ago, I believed that end-of-advancement-in-computer-technology theory was correct. Then I suddenly and explosively became aware of all these new inventions growing inside of the internet. INSIDE OF THE INTERNET, that's why! Of course I could not find any advancement! It was not physical or tangible anymore like it used to be. These new inventions were changing the world in a place where I could not see. As soon as I noticed this fact, so many "new inventions" I never noticed start to surface. It was not hard to notice that internet was going to rule the world.
This explosion relit my fire.
Ideas will come. Like Facebook, Twitter, Google, and YouTube, a brilliant idea will come if I keep strive for a most brilliant idea. Today, what internet can do is truly unlimited. And with this, I will make another curve in the line of people's lives just like what Google or Facebook did. A pen, when you use it, slits the paper, rips itself into the paper and leaves the ink in the slit making it permanent and genuine. Like a pen, I will make a bigger and bolder change and I am preparing myself for that day.
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