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Recommended / Inspirational / Teacher assistant /Walls Syracuse University Supplement

in0va3 3 / 2  
Dec 30, 2011   #1
I looked through many sources to help myself answer Syracuse University's supplement essay. Any suggestions or changes are greatly appreciated. Thanks!

1. Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?

I did not know about Syracuse University until my college guidance counselor recommended me to this university. While researching, my interest strengthened when I realized that my cousin is a current student of Syracuse University and the wealth of programs that Syracuse University offers to deliver superior academic experience. When speaking of Syracuse she speaks with admiration and love for the university. One aspect that this university makes it appealing to me is the amount of school spirit that students have.

2. Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this?

I dream of becoming independent, intelligent, and inspirational. However, more than anything, I want to be culturally diverse. To tour different countries and experience different cultures, I believe Syracuse University can help me achieve this through Study Abroad because Study Abroad would enrich my college career through international education. My education in Syracuse University will provide me with many ways to relate my studies to the world around me and its strong connections with community will give me invaluable professional experience.

3. If you have had work experience, what skills and/or knowledge did you gain?

One summer I spent my time volunteering as a teacher's assistant. I did not get paid but I valued the experience nonetheless. Being a teacher's assistant has taught me responsibility and opened my mind on how to become a better role model. I was able to observe how teachers interact with students and how close a relationship they had with each other. I learned that although a classroom is just a room full of kids, each student, however, is important as an individual. Each individual are to get the upmost attention from the teacher in order to not lack in education. Communication with each student is important to understand each other. Being responsible is another skill I gained. For instance, when out on a school trip and I was assigned a group of students, I was to supervise and care for them. Overall, being a role model is not easy. However, it is okay for me to say that volunteering as a teacher's assistant has broadened my knowledge in becoming a more responsible and motivated leader.

4. Our mission of Scholarship in Action, education for the world in the world, extends beyond the classroom to include engagement opportunities with our campus community, the City of Syracuse, and locations across the globe. Based on your interests, tell us what real-world experiences you might pursue during your education at Syracuse as part of this mission.

During my education in Syracuse, I am confident to say that the classroom walls will not limit me and I hope to expand my education in the City of Syracuse and the world. One of the programs I would like to participate is Study Abroad, where I can have a college orientation with cultural exploration, adding another dimension to my learning experience. I want to enrich my education with life experience through hands-on programs and activities in addition to strengthening the cultural and recreational diversity in Syracuse. I am sure my education in Syracuse University is through changing lives, in the neighborhoods, and the world.
Mango17 - / 15  
Dec 30, 2011   #2
Well I feel like an idiot I wrote 2 page responses for each question (poor admission counselor).

For essay one, you need a much better ending. I would not talk about the school spirit if I were you and instead I would write about the diversity of the student body or the research and internship opportunities that would be available to you. Then write a nice little ending sentence along the lines of "Although I was introduced to Syracuse University quite recently, I was quickly drawn to the university as I learned more information about it, and it is now my top choice school"

I'm sure you can edit that sentence to make it sound nicer, but just a thought.

Essay two, it is great that you talk about their study abroad. To add to that once again I would mention that not only would you be exposed to different cultures abroad, but that you will be introduced to students from all over the world right on the Syracuse campus.

Essay three and four and great because you answer the topics exactly how you should have. I would just work on your word choice and revise the sentences to sound more professional.

Best of luck!
furelise - / 1  
Dec 30, 2011   #3
1. Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?
-I think you should elaborate on which of the programs actually attracted you. What you said here can be said about any university in the country really. Be more specific to Syracuse and what about it appeals to you. Also, while its good that you mentioned the presence of a family member, try not to make her the center of your response. It helps to have an individual opinion as basis for your applying, and not just someone else's.

Good luck! I'm applying too :)
dmjackson 3 / 6  
Dec 31, 2011   #4
For question 1 i think you should elaborate on what you like about it and maybe add a little info of what your cousin had to say about the university and how your cousin also influenced you

for question 4 you should talk about the community services that Syracuse University provides instead of the studying abroad aspect. Explain how you will give back to the syracuse community

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