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My reflection on My Brilliant Life; the supplement essay for Boston College

thaisontrinh 1 / -  
Jul 29, 2015   #1
Prompt: Many human beings throughout history have found inspiration and joy in literature and works of art. Is there a book, play, movie, painting, music selection, or photography that has been especially meaningful to you?

Piecing myself together after watching the movie, I am still left with the residue of an emotional breakdown. Approaching the movie with lighthearted notion, I was expecting a tranquil epilogue before calling it a night. The movie began with a soothing, heavenly tune, being played by the violin and piano. There it was, being typed up slowly on screen - My Brilliant Life-.

As the title appeared, I had thoughts running across my mind, anticipating the unexpected. However, as the movie unveiled, I was taken by surprised by the approach the director took in narrating the movie. Throughout the movie, it was narrated by the boy - the protagonist -, who suffered from an aging disease. At first, I was confused by the contrast between the title and the story. I kept asking myself how a movie about the life of sick child could be described as brilliant. However, as the movie progressed, I began to see how my preconception on the movie was answered. It was brilliant not because of the disease he carried; instead, it was his optimistic approach in dealing with his sickness, knowing full well he would die soon.

Throughout the movie, I was completely moved by how he has dealt with endless problems in life. Looking at him, I saw a little boy with so much strength and courage. Every time he overcame a problem, I had to pause and ask myself how I would have done it in similar situation. Quite frankly, I felt ashamed of myself, seeing how he dealt with them in an altruistic manner. Though he was born with an unfortunate disease, being expected to die at the age of two, he never saw life in a despicable manner. He always lived his life to the fullest, loving and caring for everyone around him until the day he died. Seeing how he lived his life with no regret, I felt I have learnt something from him. I, now, understand how every moment in life should be cherished to the fullest. So that if I ever have to look back at them, I will nod to myself with a smile on my face, knowing what I did was the right thing.

Ending the night in such a heartfelt atmosphere, I could not close my eyes without reflecting back to the movie. It was so hopeful and yet, traumatizing at the same time. Looking back at it now, the movie was truly a slice of life.

My name is Thai Son and I am thinking about applying for Boston College. Here is my first draft for this prompt. I would really appreciate if you guys point out the errors for me. Thank you for time. :)

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Jul 29, 2015   #2
- Every time he overcameovercome a problem,
- I felt I have learntlearned something from him.
- It was so hopeful and yet, traumatizingtraumatized at the same time.

A well written reflection of such a nice movie. It was indeed a very peaceful yet heartfelt night at the movies.
I can say that the your manner in writing os very god, somehow like an experienced writer wrote the essay.
What I do notice though is your mix of british english and the normal english it's quiet evident in your writing, if you can stick to the normal one like "learned" instead of "learnt" this is for your readers not to get confused. Practice writing more too.
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Jul 29, 2015   #3
I can help you with you writing. When I looked at the first word, I noticed a misspelling. The first word should be "Piecing".

The second paragraph you place surprise in the past tense. Change surprised to "surprise". You don't need hyphens, but you could use commas: "...the boy, the protagonist,...". You should state "...preconception of the movie was answered". Delete "full well".

In the third paragraph, this sentence needs to be corrected: "Every time he overcame a problem, I had to pause and ask myself how I would have responded in a similar situation." There needs to be a change in word order: "Now I understand how every moment in life..." Change the last sentence to, "If I ever look back at my own life, I will nod to myself with a smile on my face knowing that what I did in my life was right..."

There are just a few more revisions that can be made to your essay. Good summary!

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