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Regretful moment when you chose not to speak up



Avyrene 1 / 1  
Jun 27, 2015   #1
I just wrote this essay and really need you guys to take a look over and proofread it for me. Thanks a lot!

"Regretful moment when you chose not to speak up"

Throughout my secondary school years, I spent most of my time having my nose on my textbooks and reciting previous lessons.etc... As a result, I completed my homework handouts without fail. However, when it comes to the same questions in front of the whole class, I struggled to convey my ideas. Once my literature teacher quizzed us about the implication of an author in a poem and there were no one raising hand, I got the answer but decided not to speak up because I failed to get over my fears. Eventually, there were my classmate who completed them though she was provided with many clues from my teacher. I could see the respect from other students toward her. From then on, I determined not to lose any chance like that again by daily practice and hard work does pay off!

lcturn87 - / 423  
Jun 27, 2015   #2
I can help assist you with corrections. First, I would suggest that you describe your experience in reading as being immersed in reading your textbooks rather than having your nose in you textbook. When you place the word "and" between two words in a series it can be confusing. I would delete etc., and replace it with a period. Change part of this sentence to,..." when I had to answer the same questions..." What was the implication? I think this should be explained. The end of this sentence should read,..." there was no one raising their hand." Revise this sentence, " I had the answer, but decided not to state it because I couldn't get over my fears." The next sentence needs to reflect that your classmate answered the question with some probing questions or guidance by the teacher. You can use another word to begin the next sentence such as, "Consequently or As a result". Place "was" before determined. Switch your words to read: working hard and practicing daily. This needed a revision to show this is an ongoing action or what you do daily. I hope this helps you!
OP Avyrene 1 / 1  
Jun 27, 2015   #3
Thank for your help! Thanks a lot!


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