Reply letter to __ college for not being able to accept the admission offer.

(name of college) accepted me and also gave me financial aids. But, Since the financial aids that it provided was low enough for me to afford my education at this college, I am writing this letter to mention my decision of not being able to accept the admission offer of this college.

Please help me with the letter below. Grammers, sentence structures,....etc

I greatly appreciate your help.

Dear madam,

I am writing this e-mail to inform you that unfortunately I wont be able to accept the offer provided by (name of college) to me

I would like to thank (name of college) for the help and support it provided to me during my whole application process. Among the different colleges and universities that I applied to for the fall 2009 intake admission consideration, (name of college) was the first college that accepted me and gave me the opportunity to fulfill my higher goals.

I received the acceptance letter of (name of college) after I had received 3 rejection letters from other colleges. After receiving 3 rejections, I began thinking negatively about myself and my potential. My hopes started fading away. But, when all of a sudden I received an acceptance letter from (name of college), those lost hopes were regained and I started feeling confident about myself.

Unwantingly, I had to turn down the offer from (name of college) because after a careful analysis, I found out that I wouldnt be able to afford my education at this college

Meanwhile, Some colleges to which I had applied earier have also been providing better scholarships to me.

The generous financial aid that (name of college) provided me will definately help other deserving students afford their education at this great institution.

Please accept the statement of intention to enroll form which I have sent to (name of college) through mail and may take some time to reach there.

Thank you

Sincerely
__________

NOTE:(name of college) signifies the same college

Pretty good. Here are a few minor fixes:

"Unfortunately , I had to turn down the offer from (name of college) because after a careful analysis, I found out that I wouldn't be able to afford my education at this college."

"The generous financial aid that (name of college) offered to provide me "

"Please accept the statement of intention to enroll form which I have sent to (name of college) through mail and may take some time to reach there." This is a bit confusing. If you aren't going there, why have you sent them an intention to enroll form, and why do you want them to accept it?

hi sean. thank you very much for your suggestions.

The statement of intention to enroll form is the form provided by (name of college) to its accepted applicants.

There, in this form, we applicants have to tick either "I want to enroll" or "I am unable to enroll".

By, the statement of intention to enroll form, I mean, this whole form where I have ticked on"I am unable to enroll".

Maybe I should change the name "statement of intention to enroll form" to "accepted students' intention form".

Thank you very much

Are there any other mistakes in my letter above. Or can some changes be made to make it more interesting. I want to make the reader feel as good as possible.

I expect to receive more helps...

I don't like the word unwantingly. I think you can do something better, like this:

Despite my high hopes , I had to turn down the offer from (name of college) because after a careful analysis, I found out that I would not be able to afford my education at this college.

What are you trying to achieve by sending this letter? Do you hope that more aid will be provided? I am interested in learning more about your intentions. The best way to write th letter depends on your intended purpose. What outcome do you hope to achieve?

hi kevin. thank you for your help. I have sent the letter correcting my mistakes.

By sending this letter, I am not hoping that more aid will be provided because I know, that wont happen. The aid it provided me was the most it could provide. (23000$)

I am writing this letter because I feel it as my responsibility to inform the college about my decision afterall the college official helped me a lot during my application process.Pat Cook(admission officer) was very helpful. She used to help me by answering all of my questions and also being flexible towards me and towards my situation. So, I just wanted to inform her about my decision of not being able to afford my education at this college before I choose the offer from another college.

Thanks for all of your help