hello...yet another essay from my end...i would appreciate any input
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The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice? (Most applicants are able to respond successfully in two to three double-spaced pages.)
"Right arm over the wicket", I said to the umpire, drenched in sweat while bowling the last over in Bharuch vs. Surat under-sixteen cricket tournament. The ball was old and to generate a swing on it was impossible. However, I had to restrict the opponents to a maximum of two runs in order to advance to the finals. The pressure was on. I set the fielders in the position that suited my bowling style and to the batsman's weakest area: the off stump. I counted my twenty step run-up and marked the area. I glanced at the field setup once more to be certain that we did not have any weak fielding spots. When everything was set correctly, I was ready to bowl the first ball of the last over. I run up to the crease and release the ball with a massive arm motion that carelessly cut through the air, one that produced the woosh-sound as evidence. Unrecovered from the action, I was confident that I had produced a good ball, a ball that would definitely go as a maiden if not enough to dismiss the batsman. However, soon enough, I heard a loud tock sound from the batsman's end and I helplessly watched the ball gliding down the grass field for four runs. We had lost the match and were out in the semifinals.
The match was out of our hands and we were all partly devastated. But, to my surprise, some of our players were still enthusiastic. "Never mind guys", said those wise people, "it's just a game." For some strange reason, I agreed with them. Why were we beating ourselves over a match of cricket? We still had plenty of chances to win and bring our small town of Bharuch into spotlight. And surely enough, the next year we won the states. Such a win prompted recruitment to the Mumbai Academy of cricket. Our parents, however, did not allow us to go to Mumbai for further practice, since to them, and to most Indians, a pursuit of a career in sports in a country like India was like diving into a pool whose depth was unknown. Therefore, we readily gave up any aspirations to become part of the Indian national cricket team and returned to our monotonous lives as ordinary Indian students. However, I felt a special euphoria since I was able to conquer the barrier that separated me from achieving the title of a respected cricket player in my town, no matter how short-lived it was. We were a group of players who won the state championship without any direct professional help, without any coaching. To me, it was a personal achievement.
A year later, I moved to America, a country where neither cricket nor badminton, another sport that interested me, was popular. However, tennis seemed to closely resemble badminton. So I went to our nearby Walmart and bought a beginners racquet. Finding ample free-to-play courts in the local middle schools, I started a daily routine of simply serving balls to the next court. Having no one to play tennis with, this is all I could expect. Gradually, however, the form kicked in and I was quite acquainted with the game of tennis. After a few months in the new school, I made some friends who, coincidentally, shared my newfound interest in tennis. We often played on our school courts after school, all the while improving my game, despite several clumsy errors. And then it was February when I faced the challenge of tennis tryouts for the school's varsity team. After a few days, I was a part of the team, playing in the top six. Cousins were startled and parents were proud on this achievement of mine. Five months in this country had shown to them an entirely new side of mine, the side that any parent would want to be proud of. I found my way into the varsity team without any prior experience or coaching in tennis and without any considerable money spent on this activity.
Hence, I am, at the very least, a person who knows how to rise from dirt. I often defy conventional wisdom to achieve, what to me is, greatness. When I moved to this country three years ago, I was bereft of fluency in English; however, every night I would stand in front of the mirror and recite to myself paragraphs from various books and magazines. I have been a person of limited means since my childhood, and I find ways to bring tangibility to my dreams and goals. Sports have been just one aspect of this story, but in my life on the whole, I choose to depend on my own hard work to succeed.
I do not succumb to the strong opposing forces. I hold my grounds to claim any amount of success that might arrive on my shores as a result. To Rice, I bring the perspective of an ordinary child working hard to find an image for himself. I bring to the college the perspective eager to embrace life's downfalls and to make the most out of a person's resources.
Also, I strive to bring the real experience and enthusiasm of playing cricket to the current cricket club at Rice, one of the very few in the country!
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is my essay convincing?
any other errors?
grammar?
thanks for the feedback..i will critique yours if you want :)
********************************************************************** **********************************************************
The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice? (Most applicants are able to respond successfully in two to three double-spaced pages.)
"Right arm over the wicket", I said to the umpire, drenched in sweat while bowling the last over in Bharuch vs. Surat under-sixteen cricket tournament. The ball was old and to generate a swing on it was impossible. However, I had to restrict the opponents to a maximum of two runs in order to advance to the finals. The pressure was on. I set the fielders in the position that suited my bowling style and to the batsman's weakest area: the off stump. I counted my twenty step run-up and marked the area. I glanced at the field setup once more to be certain that we did not have any weak fielding spots. When everything was set correctly, I was ready to bowl the first ball of the last over. I run up to the crease and release the ball with a massive arm motion that carelessly cut through the air, one that produced the woosh-sound as evidence. Unrecovered from the action, I was confident that I had produced a good ball, a ball that would definitely go as a maiden if not enough to dismiss the batsman. However, soon enough, I heard a loud tock sound from the batsman's end and I helplessly watched the ball gliding down the grass field for four runs. We had lost the match and were out in the semifinals.
The match was out of our hands and we were all partly devastated. But, to my surprise, some of our players were still enthusiastic. "Never mind guys", said those wise people, "it's just a game." For some strange reason, I agreed with them. Why were we beating ourselves over a match of cricket? We still had plenty of chances to win and bring our small town of Bharuch into spotlight. And surely enough, the next year we won the states. Such a win prompted recruitment to the Mumbai Academy of cricket. Our parents, however, did not allow us to go to Mumbai for further practice, since to them, and to most Indians, a pursuit of a career in sports in a country like India was like diving into a pool whose depth was unknown. Therefore, we readily gave up any aspirations to become part of the Indian national cricket team and returned to our monotonous lives as ordinary Indian students. However, I felt a special euphoria since I was able to conquer the barrier that separated me from achieving the title of a respected cricket player in my town, no matter how short-lived it was. We were a group of players who won the state championship without any direct professional help, without any coaching. To me, it was a personal achievement.
A year later, I moved to America, a country where neither cricket nor badminton, another sport that interested me, was popular. However, tennis seemed to closely resemble badminton. So I went to our nearby Walmart and bought a beginners racquet. Finding ample free-to-play courts in the local middle schools, I started a daily routine of simply serving balls to the next court. Having no one to play tennis with, this is all I could expect. Gradually, however, the form kicked in and I was quite acquainted with the game of tennis. After a few months in the new school, I made some friends who, coincidentally, shared my newfound interest in tennis. We often played on our school courts after school, all the while improving my game, despite several clumsy errors. And then it was February when I faced the challenge of tennis tryouts for the school's varsity team. After a few days, I was a part of the team, playing in the top six. Cousins were startled and parents were proud on this achievement of mine. Five months in this country had shown to them an entirely new side of mine, the side that any parent would want to be proud of. I found my way into the varsity team without any prior experience or coaching in tennis and without any considerable money spent on this activity.
Hence, I am, at the very least, a person who knows how to rise from dirt. I often defy conventional wisdom to achieve, what to me is, greatness. When I moved to this country three years ago, I was bereft of fluency in English; however, every night I would stand in front of the mirror and recite to myself paragraphs from various books and magazines. I have been a person of limited means since my childhood, and I find ways to bring tangibility to my dreams and goals. Sports have been just one aspect of this story, but in my life on the whole, I choose to depend on my own hard work to succeed.
I do not succumb to the strong opposing forces. I hold my grounds to claim any amount of success that might arrive on my shores as a result. To Rice, I bring the perspective of an ordinary child working hard to find an image for himself. I bring to the college the perspective eager to embrace life's downfalls and to make the most out of a person's resources.
Also, I strive to bring the real experience and enthusiasm of playing cricket to the current cricket club at Rice, one of the very few in the country!
********************************************************************** **********************************************************
is my essay convincing?
any other errors?
grammar?
thanks for the feedback..i will critique yours if you want :)
