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Rice Personal Perspective Essay- My dad's alcoholism



Devnater 1 / -  
Jan 1, 2017   #1
I know this essay isn't the greatest, but I was having a real hard time with this prompt. Any suggestions are much appreciated!

The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What personal perspective would you contribute to life at Rice? (500 word limit)

It's easy to be judgmental



It was a morning just like any other. I woke from a fitful eight hours of sleep ready to conquer the day, but as I made my way towards my parent's bedroom, I noticed that there was a distinct lack of noise. The usual whirring of a hair dryer motor and sound of running water was absent. I crossed the threshold into the bedroom and quickly discovered why. My mom was in tears on her bed, and my dad was nowhere to be found. Naturally, I rushed to her side to try and console her, but she only began to cry harder. Between her sobs I could make out a few words: "Dad," "Rehab," and "Again." Confused and becoming upset myself, I raced to locate my father.

I finally found him outside on the patio, with a suitcase by his side. I whirled my questions at him rapid fire, but he remained silent. It was clear he was leaving, and judging from my mom's reaction I could guess why. He was going back to rehab for his alcoholism. The only problem was that he hadn't had a drink in years, or at least so I thought. There was almost a visible tension in the air, and after what seemed like hours of silence, he admitted that he had been drinking behind our backs for months. I was left reeling. Though he had answered one of my questions, it seemed like a thousand more popped up in its place: "When did it start?", "How much had he been drinking?", and what seemed like the most prevalent, "How could he choose alcohol over his own family?"

Even after he came back clean and sober, our relationship was damaged. Over the next few months there were a number of harsh words and vitriol thrown at my father because, immaturely, I thought he began drinking again as a way to hurt my mother and me. Though recently, I gathered up the courage to ask him why he felt he needed alcohol. My father explained that he was not only under an immense amount of pressure at his job, but had also been struggling to find money for my sister's college tuition payments. With time, our relationship has began to improve, and while I still feel that he could have come to my mother and me for support as opposed to the bottle, I can now empathize with his difficult situation.

Because of this incident, I unfairly categorized my father as a kind of enemy for years which put a strain on our relationship, even though I had never actually asked him why he did what he did. I've learned from my mistakes and now try to see people as multidimensional, in contrast with my one-sided characterization of them. So, to Rice I would bring the perspective of one who actively seeks to understand the motivations behind a person's actions and refrain from judging them based on any preconceived notions I may harbor.

TVLAERE 9 / 21  
Jan 1, 2017   #2
This is well written and personal. However, try to elaborate more on what you learned from this and how that will translate to your behaviour at Rice. The background tells us less than the effects on your personality.
wendyli328 1 / 2  
Jan 1, 2017   #3
I agree with Devnater that this essay would benefit if you talk more about how you felt. Right now, only the last paragraph and a little bit of the second last is dedicated to what you learnt. Perhaps add some more in-depth understanding of alcoholism:

IE. alcoholism may not be a choice but is a genetic disorder. So blaming the alcoholic does not help them. Therefore, you learned to be empathetic.
bosuegbu 4 / 8  
Jan 1, 2017   #4
@Devnater
i think you use way too many words explaining the situation, while your reflection on how the situation has affected you is very limited--it's the shortest paragraph. maybe skip the extra details and get to how you reacted to your father's actions by the second paragraph, and try to incorporate facets of your personality in how you handled it. i'm not quite sure if how you presented this situation fits the prompt well. it's a bit of a reach, since you didn't get to the change of perspective until the very end. there is too much narrative. i would find a better approach that elaborates more on the perspective itself. good luck! (:
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Jan 1, 2017   #5
Devin, the introduction to the day that you have int he first paragraph is totally unnecessary. That is because the focus of that paragraph was focused on setting up the scenario and your mother's reaction to it. You were totally out of the picture in that paragraph. If your importance to the situation cannot be represented in a paragraph then it doesn't serve a purpose in the essay. the second paragraph that starts with you finding your father in the driveway is, in my opinion, the best way to open the essay. The scenario set up is clear and the sentiments that you displayed were far more effective than anything you could have said in the first paragraph. Your word count will go down immensely if you remove the opening statement and just focus directly on your relationship with your father in relation to the prompt requirement.


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