Your day on April 29,2015 - UWC application
Although I have put a lot of effort into my writing, I wonder if my essay is grammatically correct and the expression is clear enough. Please give me some remarks on this. Thank in advance.
And here it is
"The alarm clock goes off at 5.00 am. I get up, open the window and get some fresh air. A new day has come. It's 4/29/2025. I admire the sunrise gradually illuminate the misty metropolis. Amazing! I reminisce the sunrise in the paddy field in my hometown: the rice trees were still sleeping peacefully in the blanket of fog. 2 months later, in the scorching heat of June, my parents and other farmers would reap the harvest. Suddenly, I smirk: To create a better lives for Vietnamese farmers, I've gone that far: being an agricultural trainee in USA, having been to many countries to investigate the way people grow cash crops and raising fish for export, getting a scholarship to Cornell University to study Hospitality Management, and currently the Director of Sale and Marketing in InterContinental NY Times Square Hotel. I hope I can set up a business model which benefits agriculture and tourism.
Having taken exercises and had breakfast, I go to work. My colleagues dress up smartly and elegantly. Their eyes sparkle with ambition. I love working with those ambitious people. I love the working environment which is highly competitive and challenging because I know that only by this way can I become tougher to have enough competence to fulfill my life mission: a better lives for farmers, a hotel chain and a competitive national tourism.
Having caught a glimpse of me, the Hotel Manager comes over and say : " Ms. Ngo, you're in charge of this business transaction with one of our partners: InterContinental Bangkok. Here is the plan. Good luck."
"OK, sir." I replied in confidence.
I'm thriving on my career path.One year later, I'll return to Vietnam to set up my own business. I'll apply what I've learned to my business. 10 years after that, I'll be owner of a hotel chain and contribute greatly to tourism industry. Holding the plan paper tightly in my hand, I imagine myself at that time: the first dollar female billionaire in Vietnam dressing with chic, low bun hairstyle, driving a Mercedes-Benz S-class, looking straight ahead, I murmur an old quote" My mind does not change in this changing world".
(To other applicant: please do not plagiarize my idea)
Although I have put a lot of effort into my writing, I wonder if my essay is grammatically correct and the expression is clear enough. Please give me some remarks on this. Thank in advance.
And here it is
"The alarm clock goes off at 5.00 am. I get up, open the window and get some fresh air. A new day has come. It's 4/29/2025. I admire the sunrise gradually illuminate the misty metropolis. Amazing! I reminisce the sunrise in the paddy field in my hometown: the rice trees were still sleeping peacefully in the blanket of fog. 2 months later, in the scorching heat of June, my parents and other farmers would reap the harvest. Suddenly, I smirk: To create a better lives for Vietnamese farmers, I've gone that far: being an agricultural trainee in USA, having been to many countries to investigate the way people grow cash crops and raising fish for export, getting a scholarship to Cornell University to study Hospitality Management, and currently the Director of Sale and Marketing in InterContinental NY Times Square Hotel. I hope I can set up a business model which benefits agriculture and tourism.
Having taken exercises and had breakfast, I go to work. My colleagues dress up smartly and elegantly. Their eyes sparkle with ambition. I love working with those ambitious people. I love the working environment which is highly competitive and challenging because I know that only by this way can I become tougher to have enough competence to fulfill my life mission: a better lives for farmers, a hotel chain and a competitive national tourism.
Having caught a glimpse of me, the Hotel Manager comes over and say : " Ms. Ngo, you're in charge of this business transaction with one of our partners: InterContinental Bangkok. Here is the plan. Good luck."
"OK, sir." I replied in confidence.
I'm thriving on my career path.One year later, I'll return to Vietnam to set up my own business. I'll apply what I've learned to my business. 10 years after that, I'll be owner of a hotel chain and contribute greatly to tourism industry. Holding the plan paper tightly in my hand, I imagine myself at that time: the first dollar female billionaire in Vietnam dressing with chic, low bun hairstyle, driving a Mercedes-Benz S-class, looking straight ahead, I murmur an old quote" My mind does not change in this changing world".
(To other applicant: please do not plagiarize my idea)