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'Romanticism' + 'A girl with dreams' - NYU application essays



marshizzle1 2 / 5  
Dec 27, 2011   #1
What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you. 1500

Concordant major and minor scales do nothing but bore me. Mundane paintings of fruit and birds should be hung only in offices. So what's intriguing? Romanticism: a reaction to the Industrial Revolution emphasizing awe in aesthetic pursuits. That's boring. Romanticism, visceral and raw, sought emotion and frenzy from its followers, to please no one but themselves until those hot, strange tears spilled on the face in passionate, human agony. At five, when I first started piano lessons, I preferred dynamics over technicality. Since, I've explored the twisted worlds of Chopin and Tchaikovsky until mellifluous melodies flowed in my head and out through my hands. Over the years, I've learned all of Chopin's Nocturnes and memorized The Tempest, my favorite of all Beethoven's movements. I'm drained after I play Romantic music, the energy and anger and passion stormed onto ivory until I am left in stupor. But the delight doesn't end at sound. Turner paints dreamscapes, as I call them, terrifying portrayals of nature overpowering man in colorful, turbulent collision. Friedrich's wanderer is where I want to be, atop a rocky mountain overlooking a sea of fog with black tips protruding from the mist. And I have all but fallen in love with Lord Byron, with his mysterious outpouring of words that expresses exactly the sentiment I want a man to feel for me. Dark, brooding, sensual; that is what's intriguing of Romanticism.

Why NYU?

I'm a girl with dreams. Unattainable aspirations, hopeless desires, unfulfilled wishes. Don't get me wrong; my suburban home is wonderful! Our facilities are polished and our education impeccable. Homes are grand and overstocked with food, gadgets, clothes, everything. We have restaurants and a mall and a large library. But I can't shake that restless feeling, that thirst for adventure and magic and a bustling crowd. Where can I find it? The grand artist's capital, New York. I want to do something, to be involved and make a fool of myself. I want to join a group that raises funds for the famine in Somalia. I want to make money by sketching strangers on the street. I want to compete in a poetry slam and lose. The lights, the snow, the people, the inspiration, the endless possibilities! I could go stark raving mad ranting about the delights of New York City, but I won't. After all, it's the school I'll be spending time at, not frolicking in the city. The faculty at NYU is knowledgeable and experienced in their fields, from what I've researched, and professors are more than willing to help students, even outside of class. There are many classes I'd love to take, making myself a well-rounded undergraduate ready for the adulthood. If anything, there are so many things I'm wildly fascinated with, from medicine to painting to psychology to film, that this university would be the perfect place for me to explore options and diversify. I would be honored to attend NYU.

HopefulApplier 4 / 27  
Dec 27, 2011   #2
I think you misplaced "That's boring." Shouldn't it be after the bird and fruit sentence? I love your first essay because it's so descriptive but there's a problem. I don't think you explain its significance to you and if you do, its not obvious on the first read. If you can keep the mood AND show why it's significant, this essay would be awesome.

For the second essay you say you won't rave about New York City and that you'll talk about the city. That's fine but there's one problem. You've already talked too much about the city and it's opportunities! Also when you talk about NYU, it seems too general. I can place those sentences in almost any large university. The best way to get around this is to incorporate NYU and NYC. After all, NYU is "in and of the city." (I know because I'm applying as well!) Best of luck!

Please read mine :)
tcohen 1 / 24  
Dec 27, 2011   #3
This is a very well written piece! I like the imagery and your motivation. However, I do think you need to focus more on NYU. Good luck!
Citygirl1120 4 / 8  
Dec 27, 2011   #4
for your second essay, I feel as though you didn't need to elaborate so much about your suburban home. You could probably cut down on some of that and add more details about what makes NYU unique- that's what they're looking for. So far, what you have written down:

"The faculty at ___ is knowledgeable and experienced in their fields, from what I've researched, and professors are more than willing to help students, even outside of class. There are many classes I'd love to take, making myself a well-rounded undergraduate ready for the adulthood. If anything, there are so many things I'm wildly fascinated with, from medicine to painting to psychology to film, that this university would be the perfect place for me to explore options and diversify. I would be honored to attend ___"

this statement could be used for many schools, if you just take out the NYU and replace it with a different university. try and get a little more specific.
OP marshizzle1 2 / 5  
Dec 27, 2011   #5
Thanks everyone!! You all gave really great advice. Best of luck to us aspiring collegiate students :)


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