Hi! Below is my first draft of my application essay to the Culinary Institute of America for their Baking and Pastry Arts degree. I'd be really grateful if people would read it and provide some constructive criticism. I'm worried that it comes across a bit full-on. Thanks for your time.
Prompt:
Complete an essay of 400-500 words about the person in your life who most influenced your interest in the foodservice and hospitality field. Please include a discussion of your career goals.
Essay:
To say that only one person influenced my passion for baking would be entirely untrue. However, the majority of credit must be given to my grandmother; she played a central role in my discovery of my passion. My grandmother taught me the basics of baking from a young age. She taught me everything from the importance of accurately measuring ingredients through the best method for torting and levelling cakes to the creation of the perfect lemon meringue pie. My grandmother introduced me to the disciple and fuelled my desire to delve deeper into the sweet world of baking and pastry.
It was through my desire to learn more that my passion began to turn to obsession. I began to bake at every opportunity I had; all of my spare time is spent in the kitchen. I am always trying different recipes; attempting various techniques that are utterly new to me; and experimenting with different flavour combinations. I thrive on the sense of accomplishment and pride that I feel when a cake rises perfectly, when chocolate unmolds successfully without breakage, or when I watch sugar bubble as the candy thermometer rises to the perfect temperature.
It was not until I realised the truly magical ability of such sweet foods that my passion for baking truly turned into obsession. I am enamoured with the idea that something as simple as a cupcake can brighten someone's day or that something as simple as a cake can bring people together and help celebrate a joyous occasion. I love being responsible for bringing such joy to my family and I yearn to be responsible for bring such happiness to others. The notion of doing so for a living is something that I constantly dream about. Thus, it's more what has influenced me the most to enter the foodservice industry than whom.
Whatever the question, my dream still remains the same. I want people to fall in love with cake, candy, chocolate, pastry and every other dessert under the sun the way that I have. I want people's faces to erupt into huge smiles as they indulge in whatever sinfully decadent dessert I have whipped up. I want dessert to be the main event of a meal and not simply the end. I want what is, in my opinion, the perfect job; I want to be a pastry chef. I want to put my all, my blood, sweat and tears, my life into creating the perfect desserts.
Prompt:
Complete an essay of 400-500 words about the person in your life who most influenced your interest in the foodservice and hospitality field. Please include a discussion of your career goals.
Essay:
To say that only one person influenced my passion for baking would be entirely untrue. However, the majority of credit must be given to my grandmother; she played a central role in my discovery of my passion. My grandmother taught me the basics of baking from a young age. She taught me everything from the importance of accurately measuring ingredients through the best method for torting and levelling cakes to the creation of the perfect lemon meringue pie. My grandmother introduced me to the disciple and fuelled my desire to delve deeper into the sweet world of baking and pastry.
It was through my desire to learn more that my passion began to turn to obsession. I began to bake at every opportunity I had; all of my spare time is spent in the kitchen. I am always trying different recipes; attempting various techniques that are utterly new to me; and experimenting with different flavour combinations. I thrive on the sense of accomplishment and pride that I feel when a cake rises perfectly, when chocolate unmolds successfully without breakage, or when I watch sugar bubble as the candy thermometer rises to the perfect temperature.
It was not until I realised the truly magical ability of such sweet foods that my passion for baking truly turned into obsession. I am enamoured with the idea that something as simple as a cupcake can brighten someone's day or that something as simple as a cake can bring people together and help celebrate a joyous occasion. I love being responsible for bringing such joy to my family and I yearn to be responsible for bring such happiness to others. The notion of doing so for a living is something that I constantly dream about. Thus, it's more what has influenced me the most to enter the foodservice industry than whom.
Whatever the question, my dream still remains the same. I want people to fall in love with cake, candy, chocolate, pastry and every other dessert under the sun the way that I have. I want people's faces to erupt into huge smiles as they indulge in whatever sinfully decadent dessert I have whipped up. I want dessert to be the main event of a meal and not simply the end. I want what is, in my opinion, the perfect job; I want to be a pastry chef. I want to put my all, my blood, sweat and tears, my life into creating the perfect desserts.
