This is the first draft of my personal statement. It's too long though, about 700. Please help me elaborate the essay and check errors. I'm not sure whether this is too personal... Help wanted. Thanks in advance!
Topic: If you had a second chance -- the opportunity to do something over and do it differently -- what would you choose to do over and what changes would you make?
"I want nothing to do with him! I don't love him and I never have!" with these words I slapped the door of my room and made it crystal that letting my dad be back under this roof was nonnegotiable with me. The story of our family flashed before my eyes like an old movie with the background music of the sobbing of my mom.
"I don't love him!" back then I never thought that I would regret saying this.
Every family has a hero, one who brings laughter and pride and one who is the center of conversation at the dinner table. In our case, the hero was me. My excellent grades and wonderful stories from school were my mom's only consolation. My father was absent a lot. He drank. He gambled. Hardly had he taught me anything when I was a kid. All I did was exerting myself to be the exact opposite of him.
When I was about five he got into jail for reasons they never told me and I never asked. Later on he got out and managed to make some money by driving a taxi. It seemed things were getting better until his taxi was hit by a huge truck on his way home after drinking with his friends celebrating that his second child was a boy; that happened on the same day my brother was born. He miraculously survived the crash but the car was totally wrecked, leaving us in deep debt.
When I was in high school my parents saved some money and opened a convenience store at a good location. I actually thought this time was different until my father lost all our money in gambling, including my college fund, which my mom had been saving for years. They got divorced this time and I couldn't care less about his leaving. He was so irresponsible that I lost hope for his change. Now after two year's divorce my father wanted to get back together and I couldn't think of a single reason for this except that he simply needed a place to stay.
However they got remarried anyway but my father didn't come to live with us which is fine by me. He paid part of my tuition. (Unfortunately in China even the highest scholarship couldn't pay off all your tuitions in college.) But I was planning to pay him back with interest as soon as I graduate and get a job. I exerted myself in college and I ranked number one in my class for two years. I joined the school's basketball team and I was popular. Nobody ever knows the story of my life.
Several months ago my mom told me that we could come to live in America with my father. He's in America?! There were so many questions in my head. It's been almost four years he's been away doing god knows what with who, but I simply agreed because I want me and my brother to receive the best education in the world.
The moment I saw him at the airport, I knew he was different. Much older but never seemed so calm, sober and healthy before. He smiled at me and I grinned back automatically. The thought" just because I can come to America because of him does not mean that I have to forgive him and be nice with him" now seems so stupid and childish. It surprised me that we talked normally like a family on our way to the apartment he's living in since we seldom had any practice talking. Nobody said anything about the past.
Last night I overheard him telling my mom how much he loved us and I realized how much I love him as well, and not just because I have to. It hit me that I was never that innocent all the time. I never gave him no chance or believed that he can change and I was embarrassed to be seen with him as a teenager. Guilt catches me now every time I recall that night I told my mom that I didn't love my father. I'm not even sure my mom told him what I had said but I feel like I own him an apology for not trusting him. Whatever he got through these four years I have no idea, but if I were to do that again I would hold his hands and tell him that I have faith in him and I love him. I should be there for him when he regenerated.
Topic: If you had a second chance -- the opportunity to do something over and do it differently -- what would you choose to do over and what changes would you make?
"I want nothing to do with him! I don't love him and I never have!" with these words I slapped the door of my room and made it crystal that letting my dad be back under this roof was nonnegotiable with me. The story of our family flashed before my eyes like an old movie with the background music of the sobbing of my mom.
"I don't love him!" back then I never thought that I would regret saying this.
Every family has a hero, one who brings laughter and pride and one who is the center of conversation at the dinner table. In our case, the hero was me. My excellent grades and wonderful stories from school were my mom's only consolation. My father was absent a lot. He drank. He gambled. Hardly had he taught me anything when I was a kid. All I did was exerting myself to be the exact opposite of him.
When I was about five he got into jail for reasons they never told me and I never asked. Later on he got out and managed to make some money by driving a taxi. It seemed things were getting better until his taxi was hit by a huge truck on his way home after drinking with his friends celebrating that his second child was a boy; that happened on the same day my brother was born. He miraculously survived the crash but the car was totally wrecked, leaving us in deep debt.
When I was in high school my parents saved some money and opened a convenience store at a good location. I actually thought this time was different until my father lost all our money in gambling, including my college fund, which my mom had been saving for years. They got divorced this time and I couldn't care less about his leaving. He was so irresponsible that I lost hope for his change. Now after two year's divorce my father wanted to get back together and I couldn't think of a single reason for this except that he simply needed a place to stay.
However they got remarried anyway but my father didn't come to live with us which is fine by me. He paid part of my tuition. (Unfortunately in China even the highest scholarship couldn't pay off all your tuitions in college.) But I was planning to pay him back with interest as soon as I graduate and get a job. I exerted myself in college and I ranked number one in my class for two years. I joined the school's basketball team and I was popular. Nobody ever knows the story of my life.
Several months ago my mom told me that we could come to live in America with my father. He's in America?! There were so many questions in my head. It's been almost four years he's been away doing god knows what with who, but I simply agreed because I want me and my brother to receive the best education in the world.
The moment I saw him at the airport, I knew he was different. Much older but never seemed so calm, sober and healthy before. He smiled at me and I grinned back automatically. The thought" just because I can come to America because of him does not mean that I have to forgive him and be nice with him" now seems so stupid and childish. It surprised me that we talked normally like a family on our way to the apartment he's living in since we seldom had any practice talking. Nobody said anything about the past.
Last night I overheard him telling my mom how much he loved us and I realized how much I love him as well, and not just because I have to. It hit me that I was never that innocent all the time. I never gave him no chance or believed that he can change and I was embarrassed to be seen with him as a teenager. Guilt catches me now every time I recall that night I told my mom that I didn't love my father. I'm not even sure my mom told him what I had said but I feel like I own him an apology for not trusting him. Whatever he got through these four years I have no idea, but if I were to do that again I would hold his hands and tell him that I have faith in him and I love him. I should be there for him when he regenerated.