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"Setting Werther Free"--Common App Essay



pmurray62 8 / 26  
Dec 27, 2009   #1
Setting Werther Free

The spine was a faded yellow. The modest price was scribbled messily beneath the book's ragged cover. A musty odor had found a home amidst pages and pages of antique German script. It would have been impossible to guess that my shabby, unassuming copy of The Sorrows of Young Werther would have such a great effect on me, but it did. The novel sat on my top shelf, unopened, for over a year. Only when the book gained a brother-this time, an English version-would my connection to it expand and become firmly established. You see, Werther and I have much in common. Both of us are in pursuit of artistic greatness and a better understanding of the world around us. I, however, go to different ends in my quest toward self-improvement.

As I believe most adolescents of Generation Z would concur, life is a journey filled with turbulence, woe, and the occasional spurt of happiness. Goethe's Werther chronicles this passage from a hopeful beginning to a tragic end. I saw myself in Werther's attempt to establish a life of personal creativity and freedom. For years, this has been my own goal, and I have taken many of the same approaches as Werther in my effort to become a more accomplished artist: daily sketches, paintings, and journal entries. I even laughed to myself as I read a passage describing Werther's intense observation of a water droplet. I had done the same just weeks before. But all of Werther's efforts were for naught. In the end, he was reduced to a hopeless pile of emotional wreckage-his desire to become a better artist coupled with his desire for Lotte, his love interest, grew too burdensome. Should I have grown scared as I watched Werther follow a fruitless path into oblivion? No. I know that I can limit myself, apply restraints; that I can "be in this world but not of it."

Moderation and independence are two important lessons I gleaned from Werther. Watching Werther fall deeper into his obsession with Lotte gave me the chance to see the ravages of letting one's desires grow out of control. Had Werther been able to limit his need for love, his life would not have ended so tragically. I feel independence ties into this need to limit oneself as well. Werther invests himself so deeply in others that he becomes dependent on them to grow and flourish. Finding out that Lotte has no desire for his affections is Werther's ultimate downfall. Herein lies the path to awakening I experienced while reading Werther. We cannot be so needy as to wait for others to guide us from paths of destruction; we must keep ourselves from hanging on the words of others as if they are the reason for our sustained existence.

As I sit here now, with both editions of the book placed before me, I see three Werthers. Beneath the tattered cover of the first, I imagine a Werther still writhing in the wretched agony of a world he forged for himself. The second edition reveals a Werther brought back to life- reanimated and ready for a second chance at being understood. This Werther waits on edge to pull the unsuspecting reader into his painful domain, but gives the reader a chance to pity him. The last version, an illusory one of my own construct, is my personal Werther. There is no room for suffering here. I find the "sorrows" lessened when I apply my own limits to them. My final Werther is set free from the chains of reliance and the fetters of need.

luminousx 3 / 32  
Dec 27, 2009   #2
The spine was faded yellow. The modest price was scribbled messily beneath the book's ragged cover.

This sounds passive to me...but I'm not sure.

The Sorrows of Young Werther - should be in quotations or underlined.

When the book gained a brother- this time, an English one-my connection to it would expand and become firmly established.

For years, this has been my own goal, and I have taken many of the same approaches as Werther in my effort to become a more accomplished artist:d aily sketches, paintings, and journal entries.

I find the "sorrows" lessened when I apply my own limits to them.
OP pmurray62 8 / 26  
Dec 27, 2009   #3
Thanks, Luminousx!

What do you think of my essay overall, though? Weak? Strong?

I'll for sure read your essay. No worries.
whitepolarbear 7 / 31  
Dec 27, 2009   #4
I'm glad I'm the author of my independent Werther.

this last sentence sounds weak
OP pmurray62 8 / 26  
Dec 28, 2009   #5
Okay. But how can I improve it? It used to say "I'm glad to be the author of my independent Werther."

Also, does my whole essay seem weak to you, or just this last sentence?

Thanks for critiquing, by the way.
mjellma 6 / 24  
Dec 28, 2009   #6
As for your concern about the essay, it is really strong.
I loved reading it, an amazing connection you found there!

I'm glad I'm the author of my independent Werther.
try sth different for this last part, dont just rearrange the words. I dont have any suggestions now, but if sth comes to my mnind ill tell you. Sorry!

Thnx for taking your time with my essay, I appreciate it.
whitepolarbear 7 / 31  
Dec 28, 2009   #7
We cannot be so needy as to wait for others to guide us from paths of destruction

I feel like this could be put more simply.

we must keep ourselves from hanging on the words of others as if they are the reason for our sustained existence.

maybe "we must avoid depending on the words of others..."

As I sit here now, with both editions of the book placed before me, I see three Werthers. Beneath the tattered cover of the first, I imagine a Werther still writhing in the wretched agony of a world he forged for himself. The second edition reveals a Werther brought back to life; reanimated and ready for a second chance at being understood.

Very confusing. Is the text the same for the two books? Is it just the outer cover that gives you these impressions? I think you should just talk about Werther, not the two editions.

I'm glad I'm the author of my independent Werther.

Maybe end with something like "werther and I were similar in blah blah, but in the end we are two different people. I chose to be independent blah blah."

General comments: I think you should give examples of why you are different. How are you independent? How are you moderate?
Please read my Franny and Zooey Essay please!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 28, 2009   #8
Only until the book had gained a brother-this time, an english one-would my connection to it become firmly established. You see, Werther and I have a lot in common. Both of us are products of our societies, and both of our societies are in love with the idea of change.

For this part above, you need to capitalize English and change the word until into the word when.

Now, at the end of that first paragraph, I see that change is central to the theme of the essay and of the book you are describing. Let's see if that theme is upheld in a cool way throughout the body paras and conclusion..

I see that para #2 has little to do with change... here is an idea to make it more interesting: I even laughed aloud as I read a passage describing Werther's intense observation of a water droplet. I had done the same...

Moderation and independence have nothing to do with change in this essay. What kind of a thesis would be supported by a discussion of life's journey, moderation, and independence... it seems like "change" is abandoned, because it does not appear again in the whole essay! Change your thesis statement to refer to something that will be supported by those body paragraphs; that is my idea.

You write very well, by the way! I just want to align that thesis with the body paragraphs.
OP pmurray62 8 / 26  
Dec 31, 2009   #9
The only thing I'm still frustrated with is my thesis statement. I don't know if it conveys the right message (with respect to the rest of the essay). Could someone help me tweak it a bit?
marycornell 2 / 18  
Dec 31, 2009   #10
I feel like this essay and the other Bates essay go hand in hand.
This, as well, was an amazing reflective essay.

I'm not sure how to tweak your thesis for you because it is very well-written but I don't think that "Both of us are in pursuit of artistic greatness and a better understanding of the world around us." It may be too vague so you should go through your essay and establish exactly what you are trying to tell your reader. What did you learn from Werther? Then make it into your thesis statement?

Sorry, I'm not much help but good luck!


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