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Being in Shanghai - NYU Prompt #1- NYU's Any Revisions



N_Campbell 3 / 8  
Dec 31, 2013   #1
NYU's global network of campuses, schools, colleges, and programs, provides an unrivaled urban university experience to cultivate our students' intellectual curiosity and to help them achieve their future career goals.

In evaluating your candidacy for admission, we are interested in making the best match possible with all that NYU has to offer. As a result, we are curious to learn about your academic and personal interests and how those interests relate to what we offer in the idea capitals of the world in which NYU campuses are located.

Please address, in your essay response, the following:Given your NYU campuses of interest - whether they are your primary and alternate home campuses of interest or where you would like to study away while you are a student - where, exactly, would you like to study at NYU - and why?

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK AND PLACES YOU THINK I NEED TO REVISE. THANKS :)

I have always known that I want to go to college out-of-state. I felt that Georgia did not understand me and the only place that would, is my state of birth, New York. I am diverse and can relate to a lot there: the lifestyle, the people, and the places.

After inquiring about New York University and its global network of campuses, not only do I have the opportunity to study out-of-state but also to study out-of-the-country. I find other cultures enticing, so when given a choice of campus, I would choose NYU's Shanghai. I want to be somewhere with strong customs that are much different from our American culture. I would like the full effect of being in a new country and feel Shanghai, China, would satisfy all of this and more. The Chinese culture has a more of conservative and oriental array, with strict mannerism and fervent beliefs. Although I am not accustom to these traditions, I think learning the ways of other cultures would give me a sharper understanding of the world as a whole.

I also would like to study in Shanghai because I like its vibrant liveliness. I am an active person that's always on the go. Shanghai's fast-pace ambiance, reminds New York has but with an ethnic twist. China is such a versatile place. It also provides several wonders for moments when I want calm down from the city life. While studying in Shanghai, I would take advantage of China's beauty and have many excursions throughout the country.

I believe that knowledge grows greater with experience. Becoming acquainted with traditional China will expose me to different perspectives that will prepare me for the future. Being in Shanghai, a place of growth, opportunities, and innovation would allow me to stay connected. As a marketing major, I presume that studying and temporary living in Shanghai would familiarize me with China's economy as the United States' third most widely traded countries. Participating in Shanghai's street bargaining would also give me the skill of product value and proper negotiating in the marketing field.

345 WORDS

Kondite - / 44  
Dec 31, 2013   #2
Your first paragraph with your longings of studying out of state and praising New York makes it seem like you want to study at NYU's main campus in New York so I got confused when you say you want to study in China. I would advise you to apply to New York unless you've visited China and loved it there. You will learn to love the city life when you're having to face dirty and unhealthy conditions at Shanghai. Only parts of China dedicated to tourists seem clean but once you leave those areas, it's a completely different world. Getting back to your essay, you talk a lit of why you want to study in China but not why you want to study at NYU Shanghai. Try to talk more about the school and include a conclusion to wrap your essay.


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