If you were principal of your school, what one thing would you change first, and why?
here is an updated version
To be completely honest, living in New Jersey has provided me with a rather sheltered life. Even though my high school is diverse, the general student population is not very well educated in different cultures and religions. Unfortunately, my high school doesn't offer any religion or culture classes. Hence, my first move as principal would be to change this. I believe that Religion and Diversity classes will help prepare students for college and life's many endeavors. In college, students will meet people from countries they have never heard of or religions that they never known about. Unfortunately, the ignorance of some students towards other cultures might prevent them from becoming acquainted with new people. Hopefully, with Religion and Diversity classes, this can be avoided. Furthermore, these classes will also help students gain a better understanding of what's going on in the world now. Although most high school students tend to think they that know the reasons behind current situations, they fail to comprehend the religious aspect of the problem. An introduction to religion class might not help these students become pundits, but it will move in the right direction by eliminating any ignorance.
any other comments or ideas??
Good answer to the question. :) Here are some grammatical changes:
Unfortunately, my high school doesn't offer any religion or culture classes. Hence, my first move as principal would be to change this.
High school is meant to prepare students for college and life's many endeavors. Religion and Diversity classes do exactly this.
I believe that Religion and Diversity classes will help prepare students for college and life's many endeavors.
In college, students will meet people from countries they have never heard of or religions that they have never known about.
This ignorance will prevent students from becoming acquainted with new people and will actually be a let down. Diversity and religion classes will also help students gain a better understanding of what's going on in the world now. (Clear this up a bit)
Unfortunately, the ignorance of some students towards other cultures might prevent them from becoming acquainted with new people. Hopefully, with Religion and Diversity classes, this can be avoided. Furthermore, these classes will also help students gain a better understanding of what's going on in the world now.
Although most high school students tend to think that they know the reasons behind current situations, they fail to comprehend the religious aspect of the problem.
An Introduction to Religion class might not help these students become pundits, but it will move them in the right direction by eliminating any ignorance.
I hope this was helpful. Good luck! :)
or religions that they never known about.
Should be knew.
Or you could change it to:
or religions that they have never known.
In college, students will meet people from countries they have never heard of or religions that they have never known about.
Furthermore, these classes will also help students gain a better understanding of what's going on in the world now.
An introduction to religion class might not help these students become pundits, but it will move them in the right direction by eliminating any ignorance.
"To be completely honest", might not belong in the first sentence. Seems a little wishy-washy for an opening line, not as serious as the rest of the essay.
