'sitting on the steps of the Low Memorial Library' - Columbia University essay

Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why. (300 words or less)

This is a very early rough draft of my Columbia essay. Can I get some suggestions before I move forward with this idea? Do you think its allowed to use more than one reason?

Thanks

New York City, the City that never sleeps, is filled with life and energy consistent with my perpetual academic curiosities. Countless resources, landmarks, and opportunities are only a short subway ride's reach away. Whether I'm visiting the countless museums or interning at Google's New York City headquarters, there are limitless possibilities to explore in a city so diverse and colorful.

When I first set foot on Columbia's stunning campus last summer, I immediately felt at home. The Greek amphitheater and classical architecture described in the Roman literature I read in Latin class came to life in front of my eyes. I could see myself sitting on the steps of the Low Memorial Library. I could see myself attending concerts in Low Plaza. (Not finished with this paragraph)

Columbia's unique take on education cannot be found anywhere else in the world. Columbia's 3-2 program offers an unparalleled education in both liberal arts and engineering, allowing me to not only study engineering but also become knowledgeable and informed in a variety of disciplines. Consequentially, Columbia University will prepare me for a future beyond engineering itself, a more impactful future as a leader, entrepreneur, and scholar.

- John, are you planning to major in architecture? If you are, then you are on the right track with this paragraph. I would suggest that you further enhance it by using the architecture of the school to explain how you will be further inspired to learn about more than just the academic side of your course. Explain that it entices you to learn more about history as well.

Another word of advice that I can offer you is to have you discuss the social atmosphere of the university and how the student community and activities appeals to you. Remember that your world will be mostly the university campus and not New York City. So you need to be able to identify with the student campus and its social style more than anything else :-)

I'm not... Is that bad? It's just a feature that really stood out to me and made me feel comfortable immediately. Also, just to clarify, are you recommending I still keep everything else, or just that paragraph and expand on it? I ask because I felt that the organization/transition between paragraphs were a little rough; it felt like three separate ideas without necessarily a connection between them. Is that alright or should I just keep and expand on one reason?

Thanks so much,
John

P.S. anyone feel free to answer. With the looming deadline, I'd really appreciate any feedback ASAP

But then again, I'm not sure what I want to study, just that it's in the engineering(ish) field, so I guess bringing in a possibility of architecture definitely doesn't hurt.

John, the thing is that you really made the reader think that you were planning to major in architecture because of the way you wrote the essay. That is not a bad thing though. It just shows that you have an eye for detail. I do not believe that you should use the description of NYC and the Google office because it is far removed from the setting of the university, which is what the prompt is all about. Here is what I suggest that we can do to improve the essay. Tell me what it is you want to say, I will create a template for you to follow, then we can polish and improve upon whatever you come up with using the template. Will that work for you? If you want to try it, let me know the specific details in your next post :-)

I just remembered an anecdote that would connect architecture and my desire for liberal arts! (with your help) Thanks so much. I think I've got it figured out from here on out.

Thanks again,
John